How Real Are Facebook Friendships?
An artist set out to find the answer—by tracking down and photographing every one of her social-media connections.
Editor of the New York Times Book Review Pamela Paul’s recent column “How to Be Liked By Everyone Online” describes how social media “has upended social and psychological norms” by changing some words to their opposite, or at least giving them a very different gist than they initially had. With Facebook, "to friend" has become a verb, and yet to do so, in the social-media sense, is a fairly passive act, Paul said. In real life, when a friendship ruptures, it’s a major event. But just as it’s easy to start a Facebook relationship, it’s virtually effort-free to end one. The personal investment on either side of “unfriending” somebody is infinitely lower than offline. “The whole concept of what it is to make a friend has shifted,” she explained.
For the 71 percent of Internet users now on Facebook, the word “friend” includes much more tenuous associations—old classmates, colleagues, one-night stands, in some cases, people who might otherwise be complete strangers.
Facebook places every type of social connection into a single “friend” basket. But relationship categories can serve an important function: An acquaintance versus a true friend, for example, signals different levels of trust and expectations. As 70 percent of Facebook users are on the site daily, sociologists and psychologists are examining the link between Facebook use and changes in relationship strength. Facebook may simply prolong superficial connections that would have naturally dissipated otherwise.
For the past four years, photographer Tanja Hollander has been fascinated with the definition of friendship in the modern age. As Hollander tells it, on New Year’s Eve 2010, she found herself in her Auburn, Maine kitchen, simultaneously writing a letter in pencil to a friend deployed in Afghanistan, and on Facebook messaging a friend working on a film in Jakarta. Hollander was struck by the dichotomy. While the letter had a “tangibility and physicality that made it seem more genuine and real,” Facebook gave her an immediate and personal back-and-forth with a friend more than 9,000 miles away— an exchange she believes never would never have happened without social media. As an artist, she was profoundly impacted by the analog and digital experiences together, shared with two friends (who don’t know each other). She describes how, over the first few months of 2011, she analyzed her Facebook use and the “friends” she had accumulated. “I found some of my Facebook friends [who] I’d never met and then a few I wasn’t speaking to in real life,” Hollander said. “There were ex-lovers with new partners, ex-partners of good friends, art dealers, curators, people from high school I hadn’t seen in over 20 years. And I asked myself, I communicate with them, but am I really friends with all of them?” So, she decided to “use the only tools [she] know[s]”—a film camera and a tripod—and set out to visit all 626 of her Facebook “friends” at their homes to take formal portraits of them.
Thus far, Hollander has crowd-sourced $50,000 for her project— titled “Are You Really My Friend?”— which is scheduled to open at the Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art in March 2017. She’s traveled to 43 states, 5 countries, and roughly 150 towns or cities, averaging two weeks away from home per month, and says her personal documentary on friendship is as much about our newly “networked lives” as it is about the physical places people call home.
By Hollander’s estimates, 95 percent of her Facebook friends have welcomed her into their homes and sat for a portrait, with 74 percent offering her a meal or a place to stay for the night—which she admits felt strange or slightly invasive at the beginning, especially for those “friends” she had never met in real life. Hollander found that people are still extremely proud of where they live, wanting to show her their favorite museums, restaurants, and parks—the physical places that embody an identity.
In Paris, Hollander stayed with two Facebook friends, one an old classmate from Hampshire college, the poet and hip-hop artist Mike Ladd , whom she hadn’t seen for a decade, since a mutual friend’s wedding in Calcutta. She met Ladd’s wife and children, Martin and Maya. To communicate with Hollander over the course of her stay, the older boy translated for his little sister, who understood English but could only respond in French.
Early in her travels, Hollander was surprised when a professional contact, Amy Munger , a designer in Houston, Texas, who had used some of Hollander’s earlier photographs in several of her clients’ spaces, responded to her message about the project by inviting Hollander to stay in her home for the weekend. When Hollander arrived, Munger had to leave for an appointment, but she gave Hollander a set of keys and told her “to make herself at home.” Munger brought Hollander to a traditional Texas rodeo, and introduced Hollander to her parents and sisters. Hollander was moved by how much personal time Munger took to share her “real life” with someone who, pre-Facebook, would not have been considered a “friend.” For her to be willing to do that, something must have existed between them before Hollander arrived at Munger’s house.
“Can you really know somebody if you’ve never seen their home?” Hollander asked. “To me, when I started, a friend was someone whose house you knew, someone you had eaten dinner with, but now I’ve realized that might not be as important to the definition of friendship.” She felt an immediate sense of connection to the Facebook friends she visited, even those she had never met physically—as did they, she believes, evidenced by the high participation rate. The project also serves as a litmus test or Facebook filter. Hollander reaches out to friends about taking their portrait several times. If she gets no response, she unfriends them, weeding out friendships that won’t translate into real life.
“When I first began the project, I imagined what a behind-the-scenes blog with Farm Security Administration photographers of the 1930s would be like,” she writes on her Facebook page , referring to the government-led program that created a photographic record of American life during the Dust Bowl and the Great Depression. “I thought about how different The Americans would be if the entire world were watching [photographer] Robert Frank’s journey around the U.S. in the [post-war] 1950’s, and how that archive would be a teaching tool for future generations, much like Lewis and Clark’s journals .” At the time, Frank’s photographs were an infamous departure from the glossy, prosperous images of mid-century America and the iconic photo essays of Life magazine. Hollander’s project can be seen as a similar endeavor—capturing the actual people and homes behind the staged façade of a Facebook profile.
Jessica Vitak , a professor in the College of Information Studies at the University of Maryland, examines Facebook’s role in relationship maintenance across subcategories, such as close friend, family member, or casual acquaintance, comparing those who interact frequently outside of Facebook to those who rely on the site as a primary form of communication. Through a combination of surveys, interviews, and server data, she studies how people use the site to exchange emotional and tangible resources. For instance, when users post bad news, looking for support from their friends, or ask for help moving or advice about a restaurant, people are sharing what sociologists call “social capital.” She’s also looked at how highly engaged Facebook users define online friendships. According to Vitak, people make very clear distinctions between individuals with whom they are “technically connected” through the site and the subset they perceive as “actual friends.”
However, having access to a large network of contacts with little to no time investment required has significant social advantages. “Does it matter that you can see pictures of a high school acquaintance’s family even though you haven’t spoke to her in 20 years?” Vitak asked. “I would argue that, generally speaking, there are benefits to maintaining those weak ties. Social networks can provide a variety of information that our closest friends and family may lack.” For example, she said, if you have a question that a Google search won’t easily answer, you can post a status update and get responses within minutes, depending on the breadth of your Facebook network. Sociologist Mark Granovetter has shown that relatively weak ties between two individuals can act as a “crucial bridge” between “two densely knit groups of close friends.” Acquaintances, as opposed to closer connections, are more likely to move in distinct social circles and therefore have access to a wider range of social information. An acquaintance can link one group to another. When someone attends the wedding of a casual work colleague and meets his close friends, she may keep in touch with some of them and they may end up helping one other—personally or professionally—later on. Granovetter’s theory suggests that even infrequent relationships, with little emotional closeness or shared history, still play a valuable role in a person’s social existence.
By the same token, responding to a status update or a user’s question has its own benefits, said Nicole Ellison , an associate professor at the University of Michigan’s School of Information. It exposes you to a new set of people, your friend’s “friends.” Ellison and her co-authors examined 20,000 public Facebook updates of users seeking responses from their network to understand what kind of help people tend to request. In a related study , they found that people who ask for favors or advice—Can anybody give me a ride to the airport? What novels should I bring on vacation?—reported a greater sense of social capital (or access to the resources of others) than those who didn’t. In other words, help comes from those who seek it, and Facebook relationships are stronger for those who use the site more actively.
And while it’s easy to trivialize or denigrate the simple action of “liking” a post, Vitak’s research also found that Facebook users value these “lightweight interactions” and that quickly responding to a status or wishing someone a happy birthday signals “a relational investment” on both sides. With that in mind, Vitak cautioned against an all-or-nothing divide—that Facebook is either “a waste of time” or “the most important social development in history.”
“Those who see Facebook as meaningless,” she explained, “will likely not take the steps to share content and interact with network members, and won’t be able to view online interactions as meaningful.”
In fact, the distinction between online and offline may be less relevant than it seems. Thinking about social media as a kind of place you go, divorced from physical reality, is a forced demarcation. Facetiming and meeting a friend for coffee certainly aren’t the same experiences, but as Nathan Jurgenson , a contributing editor at The New Inquiry and a researcher at Snapchat, points out, “the self is fluid.” Facebook messaging one friend and writing in pencil to another, as Hollander did that New Year’s Eve, may be more equivalent ways of communicating and expressing herself than she thought. A video chat is physically intimate, Jurgenson argues . And what he calls “digital dualism,” the separation of online interactions from “real life,” doesn’t capture relationship dynamics in the 21st century.
At the same time, researchers refer to “ context collapse ,” the way a site like Facebook flattens a network into a homogenous group, compared to offline interactions, where people may share different information about themselves in different contexts. A person is unlikely to tell the exact same stories or jokes, or share the same opinions at the office, the PTA meeting, or at a cocktail party. But Facebook in particular encourages a single identity, according to Robert Kraut, a social psychologist and professor of human-computer interaction at Carnegie Mellon University. Most people make all of their content visible to all of their friends, and as a result, users experience “bleed through” where all of their posts or pictures are available to all of their connections. “Blurring the boundaries is a double-edged sword,” said Kraut, author of Building Successful Online Communities .
Most of her Facebook friends who are also artists, Hollander said, made “really beautiful homes” for themselves and their families with little money. Occasionally, however, she did come across living spaces that were much nicer than she expected—although most of the time, she found that the home matched her previous conception of the person she was visiting. Sam Gosling, a University of Texas psychologist and the author of Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You , studies social perception and what a person’s private space reveals about their personality . He has found that it’s quite hard to express a false identity either at home or online because both contexts reflect the accumulated activities of daily life. It would be difficult to sustain a false persona consistently over time. “It’s worth remembering that even in contexts where people might be able to create false impressions,” said Gosling, “there’s research showing that’s typically not what people want [to do].” Generally, users only feel connected to others when projecting an authentic self.
Oxford anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar is famous for his “Dunbar number”—how many people an individual can really be friends with at any given time. His research found that based on the size of an adult brain, the average human can have around 150 people in his or her social group, and that anything more than that is too complex for most of us to process. Think of 150 as the holiday-card list , the broad group of people with whom you want to stay in touch in some meaningful way. According to Dunbar, social media has only reinforced his conclusions. He explained that a recent analysis of one million Facebook pages showed that the layers of friendship (most intimate, best, good, just friends) are the same size as they are “in real life” (about 5, 15, 50, and 150). What seems to happen, Dunbar said, is that Facebook introduces “a few extra people” to the outermost layer of casual acquaintances (people you know but wouldn’t send a holiday card), which can extend out to 500 individuals. Facebook confuses things by calling all of these relationships friends. But while Facebook probably slows a relationship’s “rate of decay” when you no longer meet in person, he suspects social media won’t stop a more intimate friend (say, in the 15 or 50 category) from moving into a further-out ring if there’s no longer any face-to-face contact.
For Hollander, the journeys to her Facebook friends’ homes and the portrait sessions that followed have undoubtedly brought her closer to them. She believes people who might have originally been in Dunbar’s outermost layer of 500 when she started have moved into more intimate circles after she’s spent a night or two in their homes or toured their cities with them. Her Facebook connections might not have really been her friends before the project, but they are now.
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Gradually, services allowing to make new friends and to stay in touch with already acquired friends started to appear, and today billions of people use various social networks, of which the largest is Facebook. These social networks still remain a debated phenomenon, as well as the consequences they lead to and the way they have changed societies. And perhaps, one of the strangest (at least to me) phenomenons connected to them is Facebook friendship.
A Facebook friendship is adding a person to your list of friends. In my opinion, this is a reasonable thing to do with people whom you care about, or whom you maintain a relationship with. Real-life friends, parents, your beloved(s), colleagues with whom you hang out with after work, people whom you have made friends with while travelling, and so on, should definitely be present in any Facebook friend list.
But in actuality, people add unfamiliar people whom they have never met or known. Even if they have never exchanged words, they still keep each other in their friend lists. Or another example is when colleagues who work in the same office add each other, but do not communicate with each other in Facebook or even in the office. Or when random people who have (under some circumstances) communicated for a couple of minutes, then add each other to their friend lists. Sometimes people even add other users to their friend lists for a show of quantity—perhaps, it is meant to show how sociable they are. These, as well as many other similar cases, I do not understand, and this is one of the reasons why I have quit using social networks about a year ago.
Friend lists can be a source of various disturbances. For example, people sometimes are afraid to delete such random “friends” from their lists, because of expecting some kind of problems connected to this act—having to deal with somebody’s emotions, for example, or having to explain their reasons. Rather often, deleting people from Facebook friends is supposed to demonstrate the rate of frustration or anger caused to a user by the deleted people. At the same time, real life communication often continues as if nothing special happened; relationships are sorted out in a “quiet” online manner.
In my opinion, social networks, and what is connected to maintaining relationships between people in virtual reality, negatively affects the real-life experience of communication and socialization. Based on my observations, I believe active social media users sometimes have issues with expressing themselves in real-life, preferring to do it in a “safer” online environment. I think this is the matter of significant importance that somehow needs to be dealt with.
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Essay on Friendship
List of essays on friendship, essay on friendship – short essay for kids (essay 1 – 150 words), essay on friendship – 10 lines on friendship written in english (essay 2 – 250 words), essay on friendship – for school students (class 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7) (essay 3 – 300 words), essay on friendship – for students (essay 4 – 400 words), essay on friendship (essay 5 – 500 words), essay on friendship – introduction, benefits and qualities (essay 6 – 600 words), essay on friendship – essay on true friendship (essay 7 – 750 words), essay on friendship – importance, types, examples and conclusion (essay 8 – 1000 words).
Friendship is a divine relationship, which is defined by neither blood nor any other similarity. Who is in this world does not have a friend?
A friend, with whom you just love to spend your time, can share your joys and sorrows. Most importantly you need not fake yourself and just be what you are. That is what friendship is all about. It is one of the most beautiful of the relations in the world. Students of today need to understand the values of friendship and therefore we have composed different long essays for students as well as short essays.
Audience: The below given essays are exclusively written for school students (Class 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 Standard).
Friendship is considered as one of the treasures that anyone can possess. God has given us the liberty to choose friends because they are for our lifetime. It is quite normal for our parents and siblings to love us because they are our own blood but a friend is someone who is initially a stranger and then takes his/her place above all the other relations. Friendship is nothing but pure love without any expectations.
Role of a Friend:
True friends share and support each other even during the toughest of times. A true friend is one who feels happy for our success, who feel sad for our failures, fight with us for silly things and hugs us the next second, gets angry on us when we do any mistakes. Friendship is all about having true friends who can understand us without the need for us to speak.
Friendship is very essential for a happy life. Even a two-minute chat with a friend will make us forget our worries. That is the strength of friendship.
Friendship is a divine relationship, which is defined by neither blood nor any other similarity. Friends are those you can choose for yourself in spite of the difference you both have from each other. A good friend in need will do wonders in your life, whenever you are in need of self-realization, upbringing your confidence and more.
Friendship serves you best not only in your happiest moments but also when you feel low in emotions. A life without a good friend is not at all complete and an emptiness will be felt all the time you think of sharing your emotion that can’t be told to anyone else.
Honesty and Patience in Friendship:
To maintain and keep going with a good deep friendship, honesty is the most important factor. You should choose a person who can be cent percent honest with you in all perspective like emotions, decision making, etc. Trustworthy friendship will help you to take better decisions and choose a better path for your future well-being.
Tolerance and patience with each other are another important characteristics of long-lasting friendship. Accepting the differences, friends should be able to be with each other in all situations. As a friend, the person should lead the other to success by being a motivation and criticize the person if they choose the wrong path.
Friendship will give you sweet and happy memories that can be cherished for a lifetime and if you succeed in maintaining that precious relation, then you are the luckiest person in this world. Love and care for each other will cherish the relationship and helps the person to appreciate each thing done without any fail.
Of all the different relations which we indulge in, friendship is considered to be the purest of them all. Friendship is the true confluence of souls with like minded attitude that aids in seamless conversation and the best of times. It is believed that a person who doesn’t have any friend lives one of the toughest lives.
The Desire to Belong:
Each one of us have been so programmed that we need a companion even if it’s not romantic, someone just to tag along. There are several definitions of friendship and it is upon you as to how you believe your relation to be. Friendship can happen when you are simply sharing a bowl of food with a person day after day. It can be expressed in the way you silently care for someone even when they may not be aware of your existence.
The Little Moments that Matter:
It is giving up the little things you love dearly for the sake of someone you cherish a great deal. Friendship often refers to the little moments of senseless laugh you two share when the rest of the world starts to look bleak. It is to know what your friend needs and being there for them even when the rest of the world has turned their back towards them.
Friendship is the kind of relation which sometimes even exceeds the realms of love because it is all about giving without even once bothering to sense what you shall get back. Every time spent is special because when you are with friends, you don’t feel the blues!
Of course the definition of friendship is going to vary a great deal from one person to another. But, remember one thing, when you are friends with someone, be prepared to put your heart on the line for their happiness because friendship often manifests into love, even if it is not romantic, it always is true!
Friendship is the most valuable as well as precious gifts of life. Friendship is one of the most valued relationship. People who have good friends enjoy the most in their live. True friendship is based on loyalty & support. A good friend is a person who will stand with you when times are tough. A friend is someone special on whom you can rely on to celebrate a special moment. Friendship is like a life asset and it can lead us to success. It all depends on our choice how we choose our friends.
The quality of friendship is essential for happiness. The benefits of healthy friendship remains long-life. In addition, having a strong friend circle also improves our self-confidence. Due to the strong relationship, we get much emotional support during our bad times. True friendship is a feeling of love & care.
Real friendship cannot be built within limited boundaries like caste or creed. It gives us a feeling that someone really needs us & we are not alone. This is true that man cannot live alone. True friends are needed in every stage of life to survive. A true friend can be an old person or a child. But it is generally believed that we make friend with people who are of the same age as ours. Same age group can give you the freedom to share anything.
The selection of a true friend is also a challenging task. We have to carefully make our friend selection. Friends might come & go. They will make you laugh & cry. Wrong selection can create various problems for you. In the modern world, many youngsters become a social nuisance. The reason behind it is wrong & bad friendships.
But if we successfully choose the right person as a friend then our life becomes easier. It doesn’t matter who you are, what type of clothes you wear. The most important thing is trust because the relation of friendship stands on the pillars of trust.
Friendship is a relation which can make or break us in every stage of life. But in other words, friendship is an asset which is really precious. Obviously, it is also not so easy to maintain friendships. It demands your time as well as efforts. Last but not the least, it is hard to find true friendship but once you succeed in this task you will have a wonderful time. In exchange for that a friend will only need your valuable time and trust.
The idea of friendship is either heartwarming or gives cold feet depending on individuals and the types of friendships. In the current world, friendships have had different definitions based on the morality and civilization of the society. Ideally, friendship is defined as the state of mutual trust between individuals or parties. Trust is an important component of friendship because it determines the reliability and longevity of the friendship. Trust is built through honest communications between the individuals and interested parties.
Once trust has been established, mutual understanding and support being to form the resulting in a friendship. This friendship can be broken through lack of trust. Trust can be breached through deceit and/ or some people, it differs with the frequencies. There are people who will break friendships after only one episode of dishonesty whereas some people give second chances and even more chances. Friendship types determine the longevity and the causes of breakups. The importance of friendship in the lives of individuals is the reason why friendships are formed in the first place.
Types of Friendships:
According to Aristotle’s Nichomachean ethics, there are three types of friendships. The friendships are based on three factors i.e. utility, pleasure and goodness. The first type of friendship is based on utility and has been described as a friendship whereby both parties gain from each other.
This type of friendship is dependent on the benefits and that is what keeps the friendship going. This type of friendships do not last long because it dissolves as soon as the benefits are outsourced or when other sources are found outside the friendship. The friendship was invented for trade purposes because when two people with opposite things that depend on each other re put together, trade is maximized.
The second type of friendship is based on pleasure. This is described as friendship in which two individuals are drawn to each other based on desires of pleasure and is characterized by passionate feelings and feelings of belonging. This type of friendship can ether last long or is short-lived depending on the presence of the attraction between the two parties.
The third type of friendship is based on goodness. In this friendship, the goodness of people draw them to each other and they usually have the same virtues. The friendship involves loving each other and expecting goodness. It takes long to develop this kind of friendship but it usually lasts longest and is actually the best kind of friendship to be in. the importance of such a friendship is the social support and love.
In conclusion, friendships are important in the lives of individuals. Trust builds and sustains friendships. The different types of friendships are important because they provide benefits and social support. Friendships provide a feeling of belonging and dependence. The durability of friendships is dependent on the basis of its formation and the intention during the formation. Friendships that last long are not based on materialistic gain, instead, they are based on pure emotion.
Friendship is an emotion of care, mutual trust, and fondness among two persons. A friend might be a work-mate, buddy, fellow student or any individual with whom we feel an attachment.
In friendship, people have a mutual exchange of sentiments and faith too. Usually, the friendship nurtures more amongst those people who belong to a similar age as they possess the same passions, interests, sentiments, and opinions. During the school days, kids who belong to the similar age group have a common dream about their future and this makes them all of them get closer in friendship.
In the same way, employees working in business organizations also make friends as they are working together for attaining the organizational objectives. It does not matter that to which age group you belong, friendship can happen at any time of your life.
Benefits of Friendship:
Sometimes friendship is essential in our life. Below are a few benefits of friendship.
1. It’s impossible to live your life alone always but friendship fills that gap quickly with the friend’s company.
2. You can easily pass the rigidities of life with the friendship as in your distress period your friends are always there to help you.
3. Friendship teaches you how to remain happy in life.
4. In case of any confusion or problem, your friendship will always benefit you with good opinions.
True and Dishonest Friendship:
True friendship is very rare in today’s times. There are so many persons who support only those people who are in power so that they can fulfil their selfish motives below the name of friendship. They stay with friends till the time their selfish requirements are achieved. Dishonest friends leave people as soon as their power gets vanished. You can find these types of self-seeking friends all around the world who are quite hurtful than enemies.
Finding a true friendship is very difficult. A true friend helps the other friend who is in need. It does not matter to him that his friend is right or wrong but he will always support his friend at the time of his difficulty.
Carefulness in the Selection of Friendship:
You must be very careful while choosing friends. You should nurture your friendship with that person who does not leave you in your bad times easily. Once you get emotionally attached to the wrong person you cannot finish your friendship so soon. True friendship continues till the time of your last breaths and does not change with the passing time.
Friendship with a bad person also affects your own thoughts and habits. Therefore, a bad person should not be chosen in any type of circumstances. We must do friendship with full attention and carefulness.
Best Qualities of Good Friendship:
Good friendship provides people an enormous love to each other.
The below are the important qualities of good friendship:
1. Good friendship is always faithful, honest, and truthful.
2. People pay attention and take note of others thoughts in good friendship.
3. Persons quickly forget and let off the mistakes of the other friend. In fact, they accept their friend in the way they are actually.
4. You are not judged on the basis of your success, money or power in it.
5. Friends do not feel shy to provide us with valuable opinions for our welfare.
6. People always share their joyful times with their good friends and also stay ready to help their friends in the time of need.
7. True friends also support others in their professional as well as personal life. They encourage their friends in the area of their interest.
Friendship is established over the sacrifice, love, faith, and concern of mutual benefit. True Friendship is a support and a blessing for everybody. All those males and females who have true and genuine friends are very lucky really.
Friendship can simply be defined as a form of mutual relationship or understanding between two people or more who interact and are attached to one another in a manner that is friendly. A friendship is a serious relationship of devotion between two or more people where people involved have a true and sincere feeling of affection, care and love towards each other devoid of any misunderstanding and without demands.
Primarily friendship happens between people that have the same sentiments, feelings and tastes. It is believed that there is no limit or criteria for friendship. All of the different creed, religion, caste, position, sex and age do not matter when it comes to friendship even though friendships can sometimes be damaged by economic disparity and other forms of differentiation. From all of these, it can be concluded that real and true friendship is very possible between people that have a uniform status and are like-minded.
A lot of friends we have in the world today only remain together in times of prosperity and absence of problems but only the faithful, sincere and true friends remain all through the troubles, times of hardships and our bad times. We only discover who our bad and good friends are in the times where we don’t have things going our way.
Most people want to be friends with people with money and we can’t really know if our friends are true when we have money and do not need their help, we only discover our true friends when we need their help in terms of money or any other form of support. A lot of friendships have been jeopardised because of money and the absence or presence of it.
Sometimes, we might face difficulty or crises in our friendships because of self-respect and ego. Friendships can be affected by us or others and we need to try to strike a balance in our friendships. For our friendship to prosper and be true, we need satisfaction, proper understanding and a trustworthy nature. As true friends, we should never exploit our friends but instead do our utmost best to motivate and support them in doing and attaining the very best things in life.
The true meaning of friendship is sometimes lost because of encounters with fake friends who have used and exploited us for their own personal benefits. People like this tend to end the friendship once they get what they want or stab their supposed friends in the back just to get what they think is best for them. Friendship is a very good thing that can help meet our need for companionship and other emotional needs.
In the world we live in today, it is extremely difficult to come across good and loyal friends and this daunting task isn’t made any easier by the lie and deceit of a lot of people in this generation. So, when one finds a very good and loyal important, it is like finding gold and one should do everything to keep friends like that.
The pursuit of true friendship Is not limited to humans, we can as well find good friends in animals; for example, it is a popular belief that dogs make the best friends. It is very important to have good friends as they help us in times and situations where we are down and facing difficulties. Our true friends always do their best to save us when we are in danger and also provide us with timely and good advice. True friends are priceless assets in our lives, they share our pains and sorrow, help provide relief to us in terrible situations and do their best to make us happy.
Friends can both be the good or the bad types. Good friends help push us on the right path in life while on the other hand, bad friends don’t care about us but only care about themselves and can lead us into the wrong path; because of this, we have to be absolutely careful when choosing our friends in this life.
Bad friends can ruin our lives completely so we have to be weary of them and do our best to avoid bag friends totally. We need friends in our life that will be there for us at every point in time and will share all of our feeling with us, both the good and bad. We need friends we can talk to anytime we are feeling lonely, friends that will make us laugh and smile anytime we are feeling sad.
What is friendship? It is the purest form of relationship between two individual with no hidden agenda. As per the dictionary, it is the mutual affection between people. But, is it just a mutual affection? Not always, as in the case of best friends, it is far beyond that. Great friends share each other’s feelings or notions which bring a feeling of prosperity and mental fulfillment.
A friend is a person whom one can know deeply, as and trust for eternity. Rather than having some likeness in the idea of two people associated with the friendship, they have some extraordinary qualities yet they want to be with each other without changing their uniqueness. By and large, friends spur each other without censuring, however at times great friends scrutinize do affect you in a positive manner.
Importance of Friendship:
It is very important to have a friend in life. Each friend is vital and their significance in known to us when certain circumstances emerge which must be supported by our friends. One can never feel lonely in this world on the off chance that he or she is embraced by true friends. Then again, depression wins in the lives of the individuals who don’t have friends regardless of billions of individuals present on the planet. Friends are particularly vital amid times of emergency and hardships. On the off chance that you wind up experiencing a hard time, having a friend to help you through can make the change simpler.
Having friends you can depend on can help your confidence. Then again, an absence of friends can make you feel lonely and without help, which makes you powerless for different issues, for example, sadness and drug abuse. Having no less than one individual you can depend on will formulate your confidence.
Choosing Your Friends Wisely:
Not all friends can instill the positivity in your life. There can be negative effects as well. It is very important to choose your friends with utmost wisdom. Picking the right friend is somewhat troublesome task however it is extremely important. In the event that for instance a couple of our dear friends are engaged with negative behaviour patterns, for example, smoking, drinking and taking drugs, at some point or another we will be attracted to their bad habits as well. This is the reason behind why it is appropriate to settle on an appropriate decision with regards to making friends.
Genuine friendship is truly a gift delighted in by a couple. The individuals who have it ought to express gratitude toward God for having genuine pearls in their lives and the individuals who don’t have a couple of good friends ought to always take a stab at better approaches to anchor great friends. No organization is superior to having a friend close by in the midst of need. You will stay cheerful in your one-room flat on the off chance that you are surrounded by your friends; then again, you can’t discover satisfaction even in your estate in the event that you are far away from others.
Types of Friends:
There is variety everywhere, so why not in friends. We can see different types of friends during our journey of life. For instance, your best friend at school is someone with whom you just get along the most. That friend, especially in the case of girls, may just get annoyed even if you talk to another of your friend more than her. Such is the childish nature of such friendships that at times it is difficult for others to identify whether you are best friends or competitors.
Then there is another category of your siblings. No matter how much you deny, but your siblings or your elder brother and sisters are those friends of yours who stay on with you for your entire life. You have a different set of friendship with them as you find yourself fighting with them most of the times. However, in times of need, you shall see that they are first ones standing behind you, supporting you.
There is another category of friends called professional friends. You come across such friends only when you grow up and choose a profession for yourself. These friends are usually from the same organisation and prove to be helpful during your settling years. Some of them tend to stay on with you even when you change companies.
Friendship Examples from History:
History has always taught us a lot. Examples of true friendship are not far behind. We have some famous example from history which makes us realise the true value of friendship. The topmost of them are the Krishna and Sudama friendship. We all must have read or heard as to how after becoming a king when Krishna met Sudama, his childhood friend, he treated him with honour even though Sudama was a poor person. It teaches us the friendship need not be between equals. It has to be between likeminded people. Next example is of Karna and Duryodhana, again from the Mahabharat era.
Despite knowing the fact that the Pandavas were his brothers, Karna went on to fight alongside Duryodhan as he is his best friend and even laid down his life for him. What more example of true friendship can one find? Again from the same era, Krishna and Arjun are also referred to as the best of the friends. Bhagavad Gita is an example of how a true friend can guide you towards positivity in life and make you follow the path of Dharma. Similarly, there are numerous examples from history which teach us the values of true friendship and the need to nourish such for own good.
Whether you accept or deny it, a friend plays an important role in your life. In fact, it is very important to have a friend. However, at the same time, it is extremely important to choose the friends wisely as they are the ones who can build you or destroy you. Nonetheless, a friend’s company is something which one enjoys all through life and friends should be treated as the best treasure a man can have.
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Topic: What is friendship?
People around the world have different views of friendship which equals different friendships being made around the world. Pop culture often reflects what our society thinks about friends. Some people follow what our society thinks what friends should be while others make friends based on culture, morals, and history. What makes my friends close and unique to me is the simple decision that they were chosen by me. My friends were not born into my family instead they were chosen based on my definition of what I believe friends are and what friendship is.
With my personal experience friendship can help or break habits, for example, my friends can help me break a habit of playing video games when it is too late to play them at night. Friends for me help me change for the better good they can suggest what actions are acceptable to do and not to do in the environment I’m in with them. Friends do not criticize all my actions I do but instead, tell me what actions I should improve on in important matters or situations and in return I would do the same to them. Friendship is all about having the trust to tell one another the good and bad and not taking offense to their comments but instead, listen to what they have to say. It is about the care and respects you have for the person and not wanting their actions to hurt someone.
In addition, conflict should not mean the end of friendship but taken as growth. Conflict is natural for any relationship and friendship is just another form of a relationship. Any conflict can be resolved through talking, I believe talking between friends can show the different perspectives to help resolve the conflict. Talking can help strengthen the trust within the relationship between friends and help avoid or confront more conflicts. I don’t agree with avoiding conflicts between friends because the situation must be addressed at one point of time, knowing how to talk and argue with a friend can help the bond of friendship be stronger and grow with other friends.
I personally believe an important aspect of friendship is trust. I believe trust plays an important factor in making friends because without trust I cannot bond with someone. Friends who do not trust each other cannot help one another grow or even support one another. Trust helps friends feel comfortable with each other because they feel like they can express their ideas or feelings. Trust helps form friendships because without trust all relationships and connections are empty.
Another important aspect of friendship is the different adventures I can share with my friends. Going out with friends is important because it can help bring relationships closer, and I can get a deeper understanding of who they are. My friends are not just people who make me laugh but also people who help have new experiences without going against my morals. Friends should not cause conflict with one another because of the morals of another but instead find solutions around to share new experiences together.
Humans are social animals wired for connection. But pop culture and society tend to dictate what a friend is and who they should be. I believe friendship has no real definition, but people share a similar concept of what a friend is. Someone who is trustworthy to keep the relationship alive and someone who can openly discuss with you and debate against you. Someone who can help break a habit, what makes friends unique is they are not born into a family they are chosen by me.
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Characteristics of a Good Friend
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The characteristics of a good friend to me is truthfulness , dependability and loyalty. I am going to give details on specific ways of being a good friend that benefit me. I plan to describe my opinions toward block style writing to give you further understanding about my beliefs as a good friend. Basic thoughts about being dependable , loyal , and trustworthy.
A good friend is someone who is truthful to me , a person who never lies to me , about anything , whether it be good or bad.
A good friend is someone who’s there for you when you going through problems. This is someone who will have your back through good or bad times. This person will be there when you need a helping hand. A good friend never back stab a true friend. This is someone who does not sugarcoat the message that he or she is delivering to me. This person is well brought up in a church and stable environment.
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As being a true friend he or she can be around my husband and never have to worry about them flirting or making a move towards him , or backstabbing. Someone who , when I ask a question, I need information about something, he or she gives me the real deal.
Dependability is a major factor in my characteristics of a good friend. Why is it? Because this person is always there when I need them. I can feel comfortable knowing that when I need this person he or she will try their best to come through for me.
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Also, he or she is a team player, meaning that one knows when you are in the clutch and can call on them to help you. Then if they cannot help you at that particular time , they will not lie to you or mislead you in the wrong direction. Finally, this person has longevity track record with you. This particular person has been friends with you for a long time. This is someone you have confidence in.
Loyalty fits perfectly with my characteristics of a good friend. Telling the truth by far , is one of the most honorable things that I look for in a friend. Being loyal is not about bowing down , but it is a respect that they and I share and understand. Loyalty is like having someone that you feel as though you can express your true feelings with. This type of person you can share secrets with. A friend is someone who loves you , not sexually , but in a friendly way. This individual has never broken the code. This special friend you have known for a very long time. Being loyal to me starts within yourself. A good friend who is loyal will never lie , or deceive you. Not to say that tis person is perfect , but they know the do’s and don’ts in the relationship.
Being trustworthy lets me know ; who is for me and who is not for me. Being dependable , when I need this person he or she lets me know that I can trust this person. Also this person is loyal and you never has to worry about. It is a good thing to have someone who meets your expectations. Furthermore , when you sow good seeds , you shall reap good friends as well. This means that a friendship is beautiful , is honest , it is impeccable. A friendship sort of like having Jesus Christ in your life. ‘’He is my best friend.’’
Friendship and Facebook
Facebook started out as a simple social networking site, and has now grown to be one of the biggest companies in the world. One would typically join the site to be social with others, but it seems like it is almost distancing people from one another. Facebook users tend to have hundreds of friends, but how many of those can actually be considered real friends? The meaning of friendship seems to be forgotten when it comes to Facebook. Facebook is affecting friendship in society today because people use it too much, have too many “friends”, and do not put as much effort in to their “real life” friends.
The idea of Facebook seems like it would be a great way to maintain social relationships, but because people are using it so much it is actually isolating them more than anything. If Facebook was used in moderation, it would probably bring people a lot closer than it does now. Many of the millions of people that have a Facebook tend to check their page multiple times a day. It has become a new addiction for people, and for some, a very serious addiction. Many people today can spend countless hours accessing the site, even when they are out in public! When out in a social situation, take a look around the room and notice how many people are glued to their phones.
It’s absolutely absurd. Before the use of smartphones and Facebook, people actually socialized with one another when they were together. Now it seems like people are letting it take over their lives, and not looking around to see what’s going on right in front of them in the real world. Friends don’t spend as much time together because they are too busy tagging each other, or looking at the other’s comments or pictures. If people used Facebook less, it would have a more positive effect on friendship.
Most people in the world do not have hundreds or even thousands of friends, but on Facebook that is the norm. It has almost become like a popularity contest to see how many friends one can acquire. The more people one becomes friends with the harder it is to stay in touch with all of them. By having all of these “friends”, it seems like people aren’t focusing on what it means to really be a true friend. Junghyun Kim and Jong-Eun Roselyn Lee did a study on the effects of the number of Facebook friends one has: Having too many Facebook friends, on the other hand, will not necessarily increase social support one can receive, for most of the ‘friendships’ may be superficial at best.
It takes much time and effort to build and maintain mutual companionship with friends. Given the average number of close offline friends is only nine, it is not surprising that Facebook users maintain close connections with less than 3% of their Facebook friends. It is likely that the larger one’s Facebook network becomes, the less time and effort can be invested in each individual (Kim and Lee).
People shouldn’t refer to Facebook friends as “friends”, because most of the time those people aren’t true friends. A friend is someone who is always there, and is an important person in life that is trustworthy. It seems like people today are more focused on commenting on someone’s post, rather than actually taking the time to spend time with them. People need to take the time to realize who their true friends are, and try to make sure they stay close with them. Facebook actually has a maximum number of friends one can have at a time. Amy Dempsey stated “Holding on to old friendships via Facebook may prevent us from forming new connections in the real world” (Dempsey).
Amy later goes on to quote Oxford University professor Robin Dunbar, “According to Facebook, the reason for the 5,000-friend cap is that anything beyond that can make it too difficult to maintain an environment where you can stay engaged with your friends in a meaningful way”(Dunbar). It seems like the quality of friendship is diminishing in this society. People do not have the time to keep in touch with hundreds of people and actually have a close relationship with all of them. It shouldn’t matter how many friends one has, the quality of the friendship is much more important. Since people are using this site so much, their important relationships are suffering.
Facebook may seem like it is bringing friends closer together, but it is actually just doing the opposite of that. Facebook is becoming detrimental to friendships because people are using it too much, are acquiring too many friends, and therefore are letting it affect their meaningful friendships. Life is so short, and people should take the time to appreciate their true friends who are right in front of them, rather than to try to keep in touch with people that they may barely even know. If Facebook keeps on growing and continuing the way that it is, it does not look too good for meaningful friendships. It really is simple, spend more time with friends and less time on Facebook.
Work Cited Dempsey, Amy. Toronto, Star. “5000: Maximum Number of Friends Allowed on Facebook 1578: Number of Crystal Kapteyn’s Facebook Friends150: Meaningful Friendships Humans Can Handle15: Number if Bestfriends5: Intimate Friends.” Toronto Star (Canada) n.d.: Newspaper Source. Web. 6 December 2012. Junghyun, Kim, and Lee Jong-Eun Roselyn. “The Facebook Paths To Happiness: Effects of the Number of Facbook Friends and Self-Presentation on Subjective Well-being.” Cyberpyschology, Behavior & Social Networking 14.6 (2011): 359-364. Academic Search Premier. Web. 4 Dec. 2012.
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Friendships: Enrich your life and improve your health
Discover the connection between health and friendship, and how to promote and maintain healthy friendships.
Friendships can have a major impact on your health and well-being, but it's not always easy to develop or maintain friendships. Understand the importance of social connection in your life and what you can do to develop and nurture lasting friendships.
What are the benefits of friendships?
Good friends are good for your health. Friends can help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times. Friends prevent isolation and loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship, too. Friends can also:
- Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
- Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
- Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
- Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
- Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise
Friends also play a significant role in promoting your overall health. Adults with strong social connections have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression, high blood pressure and an unhealthy body mass index (BMI). In fact, studies have found that older adults who have meaningful relationships and social support are likely to live longer than their peers with fewer connections.
Why is it sometimes hard to make friends or maintain friendships?
Many adults find it hard to develop new friendships or keep up existing friendships. Friendships may take a back seat to other priorities, such as work or caring for children or aging parents. You and your friends may have grown apart due to changes in your lives or interests. Or maybe you've moved to a new community and haven't yet found a way to meet people.
Developing and maintaining good friendships takes effort. The enjoyment and comfort friendship can provide, however, makes the investment worthwhile.
What's a healthy number of friends?
Quality counts more than quantity. While it may be good to cultivate a diverse network of friends and acquaintances, you may feel a greater sense of belonging and well-being by nurturing close, meaningful relationships that will support you through thick and thin.
What are some ways to meet new friends?
It's possible to develop friendships with people who are already in your social network. Think through people you've interacted with — even very casually — who made a positive impression.
You may make new friends and nurture existing relationships by:
- Staying in touch with people with whom you've worked or taken classes
- Reconnecting with old friends
- Reaching out to people you've enjoyed chatting with at social gatherings
- Introducing yourself to neighbors
- Making time to connect with family members
If anyone stands out in your memory as someone you'd like to know better, reach out. Ask mutual friends or acquaintances to share the person's contact information, or — even better — to reintroduce the two of you with a text, email or in-person visit. Extend an invitation to coffee or lunch.
To meet new people who might become your friends, you have to go to places where others are gathered. Don't limit yourself to one strategy for meeting people. The broader your efforts, the greater your likelihood of success.
Persistence also matters. Take the initiative rather than waiting for invitations to come your way and keep trying. You may need to suggest plans a few times before you can tell if your interest in a new friend is mutual.
For example, try several of these ideas:
- Attend community events. Look for groups or clubs that gather around an interest or hobby you share. You may find these groups online, or they may be listed in the newspaper or on community bulletin boards. There are also many websites that help you connect with new friends in your neighborhood or city. Do a Google search using terms such as [your city] + social network, or [your neighborhood] + meet ups.
- Volunteer. Offer your time or talents at a hospital, place of worship, museum, community center, charitable group or other organization. You can form strong connections when you work with people who have mutual interests.
- Extend and accept invitations. Invite a friend to join you for coffee or lunch. When you're invited to a social gathering, say yes. Contact someone who recently invited you to an activity and return the favor.
- Take up a new interest. Take a college or community education course to meet people who have similar interests. Join a class at a local gym, senior center or community fitness facility.
- Join a faith community. Take advantage of special activities and get-to-know-you events for new members.
- Take a walk. Grab your kids or pet and head outside. Chat with neighbors who are also out and about or head to a popular park and strike up conversations there.
Above all, stay positive. You may not become friends with everyone you meet but maintaining a friendly attitude and demeanor can help you improve the relationships in your life. It may also sow the seeds of friendship with new acquaintances.
How does social media affect friendships?
Joining a chat group or online community might help you make or maintain connections and relieve loneliness. However, research suggests that use of social networking sites doesn't necessarily translate to a larger offline network or closer offline relationships with network members. In addition, remember to exercise caution when sharing personal information or arranging an activity with someone you've only met online.
How can I nurture my friendships?
Developing and maintaining healthy friendships involves give-and-take. Sometimes you're the one giving support, and other times you're on the receiving end. Letting friends know you care about them and appreciate them can help strengthen your bond. It's as important for you to be a good friend as it is to surround yourself with good friends.
To nurture your friendships:
- Be kind. This most-basic behavior remains the core of successful relationships. Think of friendship as an emotional bank account. Every act of kindness and every expression of gratitude are deposits into this account, while criticism and negativity draw down the account.
- Be a good listener. Ask what's going on in your friends' lives. Let the other person know you are paying close attention through eye contact, body language and occasional brief comments such as, "That sounds fun." When friends share details of hard times or difficult experiences, be empathetic, but don't give advice unless your friends ask for it.
- Open up. Build intimacy with your friends by opening up about yourself. Being willing to disclose personal experiences and concerns shows that your friend holds a special place in your life, and it may deepen your connection.
- Show that you can be trusted. Being responsible, reliable and dependable is key to forming strong friendships. Keep your engagements and arrive on time. Follow through on commitments you've made to your friends. When your friends share confidential information, keep it private.
- Make yourself available. Building a close friendship takes time — together. Make an effort to see new friends regularly, and to check in with them in between meet ups. You may feel awkward the first few times you talk on the phone or get together, but this feeling is likely to pass as you get more comfortable with each other.
Manage your nerves with mindfulness. You may find yourself imagining the worst of social situations, and you may feel tempted to stay home. Use mindfulness exercises to reshape your thinking. Each time you imagine the worst, pay attention to how often the embarrassing situations you're afraid of actually take place. You may notice that the scenarios you fear usually don't happen.
When embarrassing situations do happen, remind yourself that your feelings will pass, and you can handle them until they do.
Yoga and other mind-body relaxation practices also may reduce anxiety and help you face situations that make you feel nervous.
Remember, it's never too late to develop new friendships or reconnect with old friends. Investing time in making friends and strengthening your friendships can pay off in better health and a brighter outlook for years to come.
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- Holt-Lunstad J. Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors: The power of social connection in prevention. American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine. 2021; doi: 10.1177/15598276211009454.
- Loneliness and social isolation — tips for staying connected. National Institute on Aging. https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/loneliness-and-social-isolation-tips-staying-connected. Accessed Dec. 16, 2021.
- Bystritsky A. Complementary and alternative treatments for anxiety symptoms and disorders: Physical, cognitive, and spiritual interventions. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed Dec. 16, 2021.
- Oshio T, et al. Association between the use of social networking sites, perceived social support, and life satisfaction: Evidence from a population-based survey in Japan. PLoS One. 2020; doi: 10/1371/journal.pone.0244199.
- Wilkinson A, et al. Maintenance and development of social connection by people with long-term conditions: A qualitative study. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2019; doi:10.3390/ijerph16111875.
- Suragarn U, et al. Approaches to enhance social connection in older adults: An integrative review of literature. Aging and Health Research. 2021; doi: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ahr.2021.100029.
- Holt-Lunstad J. The major health implications of social connection. Current Directions in Psychological Science. 2021; doi: 10.1177/0963721421999630.
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The Limits of Friendship
By Maria Konnikova
Robin Dunbar came up with his eponymous number almost by accident. The University of Oxford anthropologist and psychologist (then at University College London) was trying to solve the problem of why primates devote so much time and effort to grooming. In the process of figuring out the solution, he chanced upon a potentially far more intriguing application for his research. At the time, in the nineteen-eighties, the Machiavellian Intelligence Hypothesis (now known as the Social Brain Hypothesis) had just been introduced into anthropological and primatology discourse. It held that primates have large brains because they live in socially complex societies: the larger the group, the larger the brain. Thus, from the size of an animal’s neocortex, the frontal lobe in particular, you could theoretically predict the group size for that animal.
Looking at his grooming data, Dunbar made the mental leap to humans. “We also had humans in our data set so it occurred to me to look to see what size group that relationship might predict for humans,” he told me recently. Dunbar did the math, using a ratio of neocortical volume to total brain volume and mean group size, and came up with a number. Judging from the size of an average human brain, the number of people the average person could have in her social group was a hundred and fifty. Anything beyond that would be too complicated to handle at optimal processing levels. For the last twenty-two years, Dunbar has been “unpacking and exploring” what that number actually means—and whether our ever-expanding social networks have done anything to change it.
The Dunbar number is actually a series of them. The best known, a hundred and fifty, is the number of people we call casual friends—the people, say, you’d invite to a large party. (In reality, it’s a range: a hundred at the low end and two hundred for the more social of us.) From there, through qualitative interviews coupled with analysis of experimental and survey data, Dunbar discovered that the number grows and decreases according to a precise formula , roughly a “rule of three.” The next step down, fifty, is the number of people we call close friends—perhaps the people you’d invite to a group dinner. You see them often, but not so much that you consider them to be true intimates. Then there’s the circle of fifteen: the friends that you can turn to for sympathy when you need it, the ones you can confide in about most things. The most intimate Dunbar number, five, is your close support group. These are your best friends (and often family members). On the flipside, groups can extend to five hundred, the acquaintance level, and to fifteen hundred, the absolute limit—the people for whom you can put a name to a face. While the group sizes are relatively stable, their composition can be fluid. Your five today may not be your five next week; people drift among layers and sometimes fall out of them altogether.
When Dunbar consulted the anthropological and historical record, he found remarkable consistency in support of his structure. The average group size among modern hunter-gatherer societies (where there was accurate census data) was 148.4 individuals. Company size in professional armies, Dunbar found, was also remarkably close to a hundred and fifty, from the Roman Empire to sixteenth-century Spain to the twentieth-century Soviet Union. Companies, in turn, tended to be broken down into smaller units of around fifty then further divided into sections of between ten and fifteen. At the opposite end, the companies formed battalions that ranged from five hundred and fifty to eight hundred, and even larger regiments.
Dunbar then decided to go beyond the existing evidence and into experimental methods. In one early study, the first empirical demonstration of the Dunbar number in action, he and the Durham University anthropologist Russell Hill examined the destinations of Christmas cards sent from households all over the U.K.—a socially pervasive practice, Dunbar explained to me, carried out by most typical households. Dunbar and Hill had each household list its Christmas card recipients and rate them on several scales. “When you looked at the pattern, there was a sense that there were distinct subgroups in there,” Dunbar said. If you considered the number of people in each sending household and each recipient household, each individual’s network was composed of about a hundred and fifty people. And within that network, people fell into circles of relative closeness—family, friends, neighbors, and work colleagues. Those circles conformed to Dunbar’s breakdown.
As constant use of social media has become the new normal, however, people have started challenging the continued relevance of Dunbar’s number: Isn’t it easier to have more friends when we have Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to help us to cultivate and maintain them? Some, like the University of California, Berkeley, professor Morten Hansen, have pointed out that social media has facilitated more effective collaborations. Our real-world friends tend to know the same people that we do, but, in the online world, we can expand our networks strategically, leading to better business outcomes. Yet, when researchers tried to determine whether virtual networks increase our strong ties as well as our weak ones (the ones that Hansen had focussed on), they found that, for now, the essential Dunbar number, a hundred and fifty, has remained constant. When Bruno Gonçalves and his colleagues at Indiana University at Bloomington looked at whether Twitter had changed the number of relationships that users could maintain over a six-month period, they found that, despite the relative ease of Twitter connections as opposed to face-to-face one, the individuals that they followed could only manage between one and two hundred stable connections. When the Michigan State University researcher Nicole Ellison surveyed a random sample of undergraduates about their Facebook use, she found, while that their median number of Facebook friends was three hundred, they only counted an average of seventy-five as actual friends.
There’s no question, Dunbar agrees, that networks like Facebook are changing the nature of human interaction. “What Facebook does and why it’s been so successful in so many ways is it allows you to keep track of people who would otherwise effectively disappear,” he said. But one of the things that keeps face-to-face friendships strong is the nature of shared experience : you laugh together; you dance together; you gape at the hot-dog eaters on Coney Island together. We do have a social-media equivalent—sharing, liking, knowing that all of your friends have looked at the same cat video on YouTube as you did—but it lacks the synchronicity of shared experience. It’s like a comedy that you watch by yourself: you won’t laugh as loudly or as often, even if you’re fully aware that all your friends think it’s hysterical. We’ve seen the same movie, but we can’t bond over it in the same way.
With social media, we can easily keep up with the lives and interests of far more than a hundred and fifty people. But without investing the face-to-face time, we lack deeper connections to them, and the time we invest in superficial relationships comes at the expense of more profound ones. We may widen our network to two, three, or four hundred people that we see as friends, not just acquaintances, but keeping up an actual friendship requires resources. “The amount of social capital you have is pretty fixed,” Dunbar said. “It involves time investment. If you garner connections with more people, you end up distributing your fixed amount of social capital more thinly so the average capital per person is lower.” If we’re busy putting in the effort, however minimal, to “like” and comment and interact with an ever-widening network, we have less time and capacity left for our closer groups. Traditionally, it’s a sixty-forty split of attention: we spend sixty per cent of our time with our core groups of fifty, fifteen, and five, and forty with the larger spheres. Social networks may be growing our base, and, in the process, reversing that balance.
On an even deeper level, there may be a physiological aspect of friendship that virtual connections can never replace. This wouldn’t surprise Dunbar, who discovered his number when he was studying the social bonding that occurs among primates through grooming. Over the past few years, Dunbar and his colleagues have been looking at the importance of touch in sparking the sort of neurological and physiological responses that, in turn, lead to bonding and friendship. “We underestimate how important touch is in the social world,” he said. With a light brush on the shoulder, a pat, or a squeeze of the arm or hand, we can communicate a deeper bond than through speaking alone. “Words are easy. But the way someone touches you, even casually, tells you more about what they’re thinking of you.”
Dunbar already knew that in monkeys grooming activated the endorphin system. Was the same true in humans? In a series of studies, Dunbar and his colleagues demonstrated that very light touch triggers a cascade of endorphins that, in turn, are important for creating personal relationships. Because measuring endorphin release directly is invasive—you either need to perform a spinal tap or a PET scan, and the latter, though considered safe, involves injecting a person with a radioactive tracer—they first looked at endorphin release indirectly. In one study , they examined pain thresholds: how long a person could keep her hand in a bucket of ice water (in a lab), or how long she could maintain a sitting position with no chair present (back against the wall, legs bent at a ninety degree angle) in the field. When your body is flooded with endorphins, you’re able to withstand pain for longer than you could before, so pain tolerance is often used as a proxy for endorphin levels. The longer you can stand the pain, the more endorphins have been released into your system.They found that a shared experience of laughter—a synchronous, face-to-face experience—prior to immersion, be it in the lab (watching a neutral or funny movie with others) or in a natural setting (theatre performances at the 2008 Edinburgh Fringe Festival) enabled people to hold their hands in ice or maintain the chair position significantly longer than they’d previously been able to.
Next, in an ongoing study, Dunbar and his colleagues looked at how endorphins were activated in the brain directly, through PET scans, a procedure that lets you look at how different neural receptors uptake endorphins. The researchers saw the same thing that happened with monkeys, and that had earlier been demonstrated with humans that were viewing positive emotional stimuli: when subjects in the scanner were lightly touched, their bodies released endorphins. “We were nervous we wouldn’t find anything because the touch was so light,” Dunbar said. “Astonishingly, we saw a phenomenal response.” In fact, this makes a great deal of sense and answers a lot of long-standing questions about our sensory receptors, he explained. Our skin has a set of neurons, common to all mammals, that respond to light stroking, but not to any other kind of touch. Unlike other touch receptors, which operate on a loop—you touch a hot stove, the nerves fire a signal to the brain, the brain registers pain and fires a signal back for you to withdraw your hand—these receptors are one-way. They talk to the brain, but the brain doesn’t communicate back. “We think that’s what they exist for, to trigger endorphin responses as a consequence of grooming,” Dunbar said. Until social media can replicate that touch, it can’t fully replicate social bonding.
But, the truth is, no one really knows how relevant the Dunbar number will remain in a world increasingly dominated by virtual interactions. The brain is incredibly plastic, and, from past research on social interaction, we know that early childhood experience is crucial in developing those parts of the brain that are largely dedicated to social interaction, empathy, and other interpersonal concerns. Deprive a child of interaction and touch early on, and those areas won’t develop fully. Envelop her in a huge family or friend group, with plenty of holding and shared experience, and those areas grow bigger. So what happens if you’re raised from a young age to see virtual interactions as akin to physical ones? “This is the big imponderable,” Dunbar said. “We haven’t yet seen an entire generation that’s grown up with things like Facebook go through adulthood yet.” Dunbar himself doesn’t have a firm opinion one way or the other about whether virtual social networks will prove wonderful for friendships or ultimately diminish the number of satisfying interactions one has. “I don’t think we have enough evidence to argue either way,” he said.
One concern, though, is that some social skills may not develop as effectively when so many interactions exist online. We learn how we are and aren’t supposed to act by observing others and then having opportunities to act out our observations ourselves. We aren’t born with full social awareness, and Dunbar fears that too much virtual interaction may subvert that education. “In the sandpit of life, when somebody kicks sand in your face, you can’t get out of the sandpit. You have to deal with it, learn, compromise,” he said. “On the internet, you can pull the plug and walk away. There’s no forcing mechanism that makes us have to learn.” If you spend most of your time online, you may not get enough in-person group experience to learn how to properly interact on a large scale—a fear that, some early evidence suggests , may be materializing. “It’s quite conceivable that we might end up less social in the future, which would be a disaster because we need to be more social—our world has become so large” Dunbar said. The more our virtual friends replace our face-to-face ones, in fact, the more our Dunbar number may shrink.
By Ted Chiang
By Joshua Rothman
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500+ words essay on importance of friendship.
Friendship is the most beautiful relationship between two people. We cannot think of life without having someone whom we can call friends. Isn’t it? Making friends is based on how we want our friendship to be. It has to be filled with love, honesty, loyalty, and compassion towards each other. From a young age, we spend a lot of time with our friends. Friendship is something that has boundless love and care. The essence of friendship is that the mindset of people has to be the same in order to have a long-lasting relationship. In this friendship essay, let us know more about the benefits of friendship.
How well are you acquainted with the importance of friendship in your life? This feeling of friendship starts from an early age where you feel, share and care for your friend. Also, you will receive non-biased opinions and feedback from your friends. True friendship is when you stand with your friends through thick and thin. It is the moment where you need not express yourself and your friends totally understand what you’re trying to say. Moreover, there is no specific criteria to choose your friends. If your mind and heart match, that’s more than enough to become friends.
Benefits of Friendship
Friends are an essential part of your life. Good friends are hard to find, but if you have one then life is sorted. If you are confused or want to take advice from someone, you can just rely on friends. They will give the best advice and show the right path in taking important decisions in your life. Most importantly, they will be there for you no matter what. Sometimes, you might fight for silly reasons which is also a part of friendship. Healthy friendship has mutual love, care, and respect for each other. There is no one above or below in terms of friendship.
There are many people in your life but certain friendships can only touch your personal space. Kids especially are not always comfortable with any people they come into contact with. There are few people whom they like to spend time with and share their stories. There is authenticity in the relationships that you can eventually develop with your friends. It is filled with purity and love for the other person. Here are some reasons that underline the importance of friendship in your life.
- Becoming part of social life and removing loneliness.
- Reducing stress and other tensions in life when you have good friends around you.
- Providing emotional support.
- Helping you improve personally.
- Providing strength and helping in things that are difficult for you.
- Spending quality time with your friends.
- Sharing happiness and sorrows with friends.
Also read: Essay on school and essay on dog .
How to Maintain a True Friendship?
Humans being social creatures need someone to share their happiness and sorrows with. Who can be more trustworthy other than your friends? To grow your friendship, you need to maintain and protect the relationship forever. For that, you have to inherit some qualities that will help in maintaining your friendship for a longer period of time. Friendship increases happiness and gives more meaning to your life. We expect our friends to be there for birthdays, festivals, and all other occasions. Therefore, we tend to become stronger as a person when there are good friends around us. Needless to say, there is no age for friendship, you can make friends in every stage of your life. Here are a few things that you do to keep your friendship interesting and everlasting.
- Be available for your friends anytime.
- Be part of their happiness and sorrows.
- Spend time with your friends on a regular basis.
- Be loyal and honest to your friends.
- Respect your friends and their decisions in life.
- Show appreciation and give feedback for the things that they do.
We hope this friendship essay was useful to you. Check essays for kids to explore more topics.
Frequently Asked Questions On Friendship Essay
What is a friendship essay.
It is a write-up on the friendship between people and the importance of having friends in life.
What is the importance of a friendship essay?
Writing a friendship essay will enable you to express your thoughts and feelings about friends and the qualities of friendship.
What is the benefit of friendship?
Friendship teaches you to become compassionate and loyal to your friends. They will always be with you throughout your life in happiness and sorrow.
500+ Words Essay on Friendship
Individuals come across numerous people throughout their life. Those who are near us become our companions. We may have a big group of companions in school and college, yet we realise that we can rely on only a few with whom we share genuine friendships. Here, we have provided an essay on friendship for students. By referring to this essay on friendship essay, students of Classes 5 to 8 can become familiar with essay writing skills. They can learn how to organise their thoughts in an effective way and put them in words. This essay will work as a sample for them. Practising Essays on different topics will enhance their writing skills and thus help them to score high marks in English exams.
We have different types of relationships with people around us. With a few of them, we share a blood bond such as with our family and with others we forge our own connections. Friendship is one such relationship which we choose by ourselves. God has given us this liberty to choose friends because they are, in most instances, for a lifetime. A friend is someone who is initially a stranger and then takes his/her place above all other relationships. Friendship is considered one of the treasures that anyone can have.
Friendship can exist between the same sex or the opposite sex. It can even happen between an old man and a small boy. Friendship can also exist between humans and their pet animals. Moreover, it can also be felt in familial relationships such as between father and son, mother and daughter etc. A simple bond of friendship can help uproot various prejudices and negative thoughts from society such as religious conflict, violence, human rights abuse, poverty, illiteracy, etc. Friendship can generate passion among people to create a better world where all are united together.
Role of a Friend
Friends are an integral part of our life. To develop a strong, true friendship, we should treat friends with love and respect, the way we would expect them to treat us. In this way, the friendship will last longer. Some of the ways that define the role of friendship in achieving success are:
- Encouraging and motivating
- Creating a comfort zone
- Listening to each other and providing truthful opinions
- Adding joy to life
- Sharing secrets and being reliable
- Caring and unconditional love
- Helping to grow individually
Best Qualities of a Good Friendship
There is a famous proverb, “A friend in need is a friend indeed”. It means that though we may have several friends at the time of prosperity, many desert us at the time of adversity. We can examine the sincerity of a friend during our hard times. Only a sincere and faithful friend remains with us in times of trouble. All others abandon us.
Friendship is established over the sacrifice, love, faith, and concern of each other. Below we have mentioned some qualities that exist in a good friendship:
- Honest and trustworthy
- Accepting and loyal
- Inspiring and motivating
- Helpful and generous
Famous Examples of Friendship in Indian Mythology
In Indian Mythology, we can find various examples of true friendship. All of us have heard the story of Krishna and Sudama. Sudama was a poor brahmin. His condition became so impoverished that he could not afford food for his family. Then he decided to go to Dwarka to meet his childhood friend Krishna. When he reached Dwarka, he requested the gatekeeper to let him meet with Krishna. As he was dressed dirty, the gatekeeper did not allow him to enter. But, he requested several times and asked the gatekeeper to inform Krishna that his childhood friend was there to meet him. Finally, the gatekeeper showed mercy on him and sent the message to Krishna. On hearing the news of Sudama’s arrival, Krishna came running and welcomed him with an open heart. He also helped him financially by giving him plenty of wealth.
Similarly, there are various stories of friendship described in Indian Mythology. A few of them are the friendship of Karna and Duryodhana, Ram and Sugreeva, Krishna and Arjun.
Essays Topics for Students’ Practice
After writing essay on friendship, students must practise essays on similar topics. To help them with this, we have provided few essay topics as suggestions:
- Friendship Day Essay
- Essay on My Best Friend
- Essay on Memories of My Childhood Friends
- Essay on Importance of True Friendship
Frequently Asked Questions on Friendship
Who is a true friend.
A true friend is one who stands for you and is always ready to help you. He/she understands you and value your feelings. Whose company makes you feel happy and you can share your thoughts and emotions without any hesitation or fear.
Why do we need friends in our life?
Friends bring happiness into our life. They help in solving problems whether personal or professional. By talking to them, our stress reduces and we feel better. Friends improve our self-confidence and help us to find purpose in our life. They offer companionship and thus prevent loneliness.
When is Friendship Day celebrated?
Each year on the first Sunday of August, Friendship Day is celebrated in India.
This “Friendship Essay” must have helped students in improving their writing section for the English exam. Keep learning and stay tuned with BYJU’S for the latest update on CBSE/ICSE/State Board/Competitive Exams. Also, download the BYJU’S App for interactive study videos.
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Friday essay: on the ending of a friendship
Emeritus Professor of Creative writing, The University of Melbourne
Kevin John Brophy does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.
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Friendship is an incomparable, immeasurable boon to me, and a source of life — not metaphorically but literally.
- Simone Weil
About eight years ago, I went to dinner with a dear friend I had known for more than 40 years. It would be the last time we would see each other and by the end of that evening I was deeply shaken. But more lasting and more unsettling than this has been the feeling of loss without his friendship. It was a sudden ending but it was also an ending that lasted for me well beyond that evening. I have worried since then at what kind of friend I am to my friends, and why a friendship can suddenly self-destruct while others can so unexpectedly bloom.
My friend and I were used to going to dinner together, though it had become an increasingly tricky matter for us. We had been seeing each other more infrequently, and our conversations had been tending towards repetition. I still enjoyed his passion for talk, his willingness to be puzzled by life’s events, our comically growing list of minor ailments as we entered our sixties, and the old stories he fell back on — usually stories of his minor triumphs, such as the time his car burst into fire, was declared a write-off by insurance, and ended in an auction house where he bought it back with part of the insurance payout and only minor repairs to be made. There were stories of his time as a barman in one of Melbourne’s roughest pubs. I suppose in a lot of long-lasting friendships it is these repeated stories of the past that can fill the present so richly.
Nevertheless, both his opinions and mine seemed to have become too predictable. Even his desire to come up with the most unpredictable viewpoint on any problem was a routine I expected from him. Each of us knew the weaknesses in the other’s thinking, and we had learned not to go too far with some topics, which were of course the most interesting and important ones.
He knew how politically correct I could be, and shrewdly enough he had no time for my self-righteousness, the predictability of my views on gender, race and climate. I understood this. He knew too that his fiercely independent thinking was often just the usual rant against greenies or lefties. Something had begun to fail in our friendship, but I could not properly perceive this or speak of it.
We were a contrasting pair. He was a big man with an aggressive edge to his gregarious nature, while I was lean, short and physically slight next to him, a much more reserved person altogether. I liked his size because big men have been protective figures in my life. At times when I felt threatened I would ask him to come with me to a meeting or a transaction, and just stand next to me in his big way. During one long period of trouble with our neighbours he would visit when the tension was high to show his formidable presence and his solidarity with us.
I was always reading and knew how to talk books, while he was too restless to read much. He knew how to sing, bursting into song occasionally when we were together. He had been unable to work professionally since a breakdown that was both physical and mental. By contrast, I was working steadily, never quite as free with my time as he was.
Nearly two years before our last dinner together his wife had suddenly left him. As it turned out, she had been planning her departure for some time, but when she went he was taken by surprise. I saw a more confused and fragile side of him during those months when we would meet and talk through how he was dealing with their counselling sessions, and then how the negotiations were proceeding over belongings and finally the family house. He was learning to live alone for the first time since he had been a young man, and was exploring what it might be like to seek out new relationships.
Read more: Research Check: is it true only half your friends actually like you?
A safe haven
We had met when I was a first-year university student boarding at my grandmother’s home in an inner Melbourne suburb. I was studying for a Bachelor of Arts, staying up through the nights, discovering literature, music, history, cask wine, dope, girls and ideas.
He lived in a flat a few doors away in a street behind my grandmother’s place, and I remember it was the local parish youth group, or the remnants of one, that used to meet in his flat. In my friend’s flat we would lie around the floor, half a dozen of us, drinking, flirting, arguing about religion or politics until the night was strung out in our heads, tight and thin and vibrating with possibilities. I loved that sudden intimate and intellectually rich contact with people my own age.
My friend and I started up a coffee lounge in an old disused shopfront as a meeting place for youth who would otherwise be on the street. I was the one who became immersed in the chaotic life of the place as students, musicians, misfits, hopeful poets and petty criminals floated through the shop, while my friend kept his eye on the broader picture that involved real estate agents, local councils, supplies of coffee, income and expenditure.
Perhaps the experience helped delay my own adulthood, allowing me time to try out a bohemian, communal alternative lifestyle that was so important to some of us in the early 1970s. My friend, though, was soon married. It was as if he had been living a parallel life outside our friendship, outside the youth group, coffee shop, jug band, drugs and misadventures of our project.
This did not break us up, and in fact after his marriage he became another kind of friend. I was at times struggling to find some steady sense of myself. Sometimes in those years I would not be able to talk or even be near others, and I remember once when I felt like this I went to my newly married friend’s home, and asked if I could lie on the floor in the corner of their lounge room for a few days until I felt better.
They indulged me. I felt it was this haven that saved me then, giving me the time to recoup and giving me a sense that there was somewhere I could go where the world was safe and neutral.
In time, and more bumpily and uncertainly than my friend, I was with a partner raising a family. He was often involved in our children’s birthdays, other celebrations, our house-moving, and just dropping in on family meals. It worked for us. I remember him lifting our cast iron wood-burning stove into its place in our first renovated Brunswick cottage. He lived in a more sprawling home near bushland on the edge of Melbourne, so one of my pleasures became the long cycling trips out to see him.
My partner and I were embraced by a local community thanks to the childcare centre, kinders, schools and sport. Lasting friendships (for us and for our children) grew in the tentative, open-ended, slightly blindly feeling way of friendships. Through this decade and a half though, the particular friendship with my songful friend held, perhaps to the surprise of both of us.
‘Tolerating much, for the sake of best intentions’
In his thoroughly likeable 1993 book on friendship , the political scientist Graham Little wrote under the bright light of writings by Aristotle and Freud, that the purest kind of friendship “welcomes the different ways people are alive to life and tolerates much in a friend for the sake of best intentions”.
Here perhaps is the closest I have seen to a definition of friendship at its best: a stance imbued with sympathy, interest and excitement directed at another despite all that otherwise shows we are flawed and dangerous creatures.
On that evening, the evening of the last time we went out to dinner together, I did push my friend towards one of the topics we usually avoided. I had been wanting him to acknowledge and even apologise for his behaviour towards some young women he had spoken to, I thought, lewdly and insultingly nearly a year before in my home at a party. The women and those of us who had witnessed his behaviour felt continuing tension over his refusal to discuss the fact that he had wanted to speak so insultingly to them and then had done it in our home in front of us. For me, there was some element of betrayal, not only in the way he had behaved but in his continued refusal to discuss what had happened.
The women were drunk, he said, just as he had said the last time I tried to talk to him about this. They were wearing almost nothing, he said, and what he’d said to them was no more than they were expecting. My friend and I were sitting in a popular Thai restaurant on Sydney Road: metal chairs, plastic tables, concrete floor. It was noisy, packed with students, young couples and groups out for a cheap and tasty meal. A waitress had put menus, water and beer on our table while she waited for us to decide on our meals. Wanting to push finally past this impasse, I pointed out to him that the women had not insulted him, he had insulted them.
If that’s the way you want it, he replied, and placed his hands on each side of the table, hurling it into the air and walking out of the restaurant as table, bottles, glasses, water and beer came clattering and smashing down around me. The whole restaurant fell silent. I could not move for some time. The waitress began mopping up the floor around me. Someone called out, “Hey, are you all right?”
This was the last time I saw or heard from him. For many months, I thought of him every day, then slowly I thought of him less often, until now I can think of him more or less at will, and not find myself ashamed of the way I went for him in a conversation where I should have been perhaps more alive to whatever was troubling him.
For some years after this, I felt I had to learn how to be myself without him. I have read articles and essays since then about how pitiful men can be at friendship. We are apparently too competitive, we base our friendships on common activities, which means we can avoid talking openly about our feelings and thoughts. I don’t know about this “male deficit model”, as some sociologists call it, but I do know that the loss of this friendship took with it a big part of my shared personal history at that time. It dented my confidence in ever having properly known this man or understood our friendship — or in knowing how secure any friendship might be.
I was drawn to read and re-read Michel de Montaigne’s gentle and strangely extreme essay on friendship where he was so certain that he knew with perfection what his friend would think and say and value. He wrote of his friend, Etienne de Boëtie, “Not only did I know his mind as well as I knew my own but I would have entrusted myself to him with greater assurance than to myself.”
Against this perfection of understanding between friends, there is George Eliot’s odd excursion into science fiction in her 1859 novel, The Lifted Veil . Her narrator, Latimer, finds he can perceive perfectly clearly the thoughts of all the people around him. He becomes disgusted and deeply disturbed by the petty self-interest he apparently discovers within everyone.
After 40 years of shared history, there was not the disgust Eliot writes of, nor Montaigne’s perfect union of mind and trust between me and my burly friend, but there was, I had thought, a foundation of knowledge whereby we took each other’s differences into ourselves, as well as our common histories of the cafe we had run, and as it happened our common serving of time in semi-monastic seminaries before we’d met — differences and similarities that had given us, I thought, ways of being in sympathy with each other while allowing for each other.
Read more: Guide to the classics: Michel de Montaigne's Essays
Montaigne’s dearest friend, Etienne, had died, and his essay was as much about the meaning of this loss as about friendship. His big idea was loyalty, and I think I understand that, though not in the absolute way Montaigne wrote of it.
Loyalty is only real if it is constantly renewed. I worry that I have not worked enough at some friendships that have come into my life, but have let them happen more passively than the women I know who spend such time, and such complicated time, exploring and testing friendships. The sudden disappearance of my friend left me with an awareness of how patched-together, how improvised, clumsy and tentative even the most secure-seeming friendship can be.
When the philosopher and brilliant essayist, Simone Weil wrote shortly before she died in 1943,
I may lose, at any moment, through the play of circumstances over which I have no control, anything whatsoever that I possess, including things that are so intimately mine that I consider them as myself. There is nothing that I might not lose. It could happen at any moment ….
she seemed to be touching on the difficult truth that we run on luck and hope and chance much of the time. Why haven’t I worked harder at friendships, when I know that they provide the real meaning in my life?
Some years ago, when I was told by a medical specialist that I had a 30% chance of having cancer, as I waited for the results of a biopsy, I remember that in response to these dismal odds I had no desire to go back to work, no desire to even read — all I wanted to do was spend time with friends.
Inner worlds laid waste
To know what it is we care about, this is a gift. It should be straightforward to know this and keep it present in our lives, but it can prove to be difficult. Being the reader that I am, I have always turned to literature and fiction for answers or insights into those questions that seem to need answering.
I realised some time after the ending of my friendship that I had been reading novels dealing with friendship, and was not even sure how consciously I had chosen them.
For instance, I read The Book of Strange New Things by Michel Faber, a novel about a Christian preacher, Peter Leigh, sent to convert aliens in a galaxy ludicrously far from earth on a planet with an equally unlikely atmosphere benign to its human colonisers.
It is a novel about whether Leigh can be any kind of adequate friend to his wife left behind on Earth, and whether his new feelings for these aliens amounts to friendship. Though my suspension of disbelief was precarious, I found myself caring about these characters and their relationships, even the grotesquely shapeless aliens. Partly I cared about them because the book read like an essay testing ideas of friendship and loyalty that were important and urgent to the writer.
I also read at that time Haruki Murakami’s novel, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage , a book that came with a little game of coloured cards and stickers, and I found that I cared about Tsukuru Tazaki too, for I felt all along that Murakami’s character was a thin and endearing disguise for himself (what a beautiful word that is, “en-dearing”).
The novel centred on lost friendships. I heard a tone in its voice that was the oddly flat, persistent, vulnerable and sincere searching of a man for connection with others. If Murakami’s novel has a proposition it wishes to test it would be that we only know ourselves in what images of ourselves we receive back from our friends. Without our friends we become invisible, lost.
In both those novels, the friendships are crashing to pieces in slow motion in front of the reader’s helpless eyes. I wanted to shake those characters, tell them to stop and think about what they were doing, but at the same time I saw in them mirrors of myself and my experiences.
I read John Berger too , on the way a human looks across an abyss of incomprehension when looking at another animal. Though language seems to connect us, it might be that language also distracts us from the actual abyss of ignorance and fear between all of us as we look, across, at each other. In his book on the savage mind , Lévi-Strauss quotes a study of Canadian Carrier Indians living on the Bulkley River who were able to cross that abyss between species, believing they knew what animals did and what their needs were because their men had been married to the salmon, the beaver and the bear.
I have read essays by Robin Dunbar on the evolutionary limits to our circles of intimacy , where he suggests that for most of us there needs to be three or maybe five truly close friends. These are the ones we lean towards with tenderness and open ourselves to with endless curiosity — those in whom we seek only the good.
My partner can name quickly four friends who qualify for her as part of this necessary circle. I find I can name two (and she is one of them), then a constellation of individual friends whose closeness to me I can’t easily measure. It is this constellation that sustains me.
Recently I was away from home for three months. After two weeks away I wrote a list in the back of my diary of the friends I was missing. A little more than a dozen of these were the friends, men and women, with whom I need contact, and with whom conversations are always open-ended, surprising, intellectually stimulating, sometimes intimate, and often fun. With each of them I explore a slightly different but always essential version of myself. Graham Little wrote that “ideal soulmates are friends who are fully aware that each has himself as his main life project”.
To live this takes some effort of imagination, and with my friend at dinner that night I might in myself have been refusing to make this effort.
There are also, it occurs to me, the friends who came as couples, with whom my partner and I share time as couples. This is itself another manifestation of friendship, one that crosses over into community, tribe and family — and no less precious than the individual intimacy of a personal friendship. For reasons I can’t properly fathom, the importance of this kind of time with coupled friends has deepened as I have grown through the decades of my fifties and sixties.
Perhaps it is that the dance of conversation and ideas is so much more complex and pleasurable when there are four or more contributing. It could be too that I am absolved from the responsibility of really working at these friendships in the way one must when there are two of us. Or it might be the pang and stimulus of the knowledge that opportunities to be together are brutally diminishing as we grow older.
But to lose an individual friend from one’s closest circle is to have large tracts of one’s inner world laid waste for a time. My feelings over the end of this particular friendship were a kind of grief mixed with bewilderment.
It was not that the friendship was necessary to my existence, but that perhaps through habit and sympathy it had become a fixed part of my identity. Robin Dunbar would say that by stepping away from this friendship I had made room for someone else to slip in to my circle of most intimate friends, but isn’t it the point of such close friends that they are in some important sense irreplaceable? This is the source of much of our distress when such friendships end.
When I told people about what had happened in the restaurant that night, they would say, reasonably, “Why don’t you patch things up and resume your friendship?”
As I imagined how a conversation might go if I did meet my friend again, I came to understand that I had been a provocation to him. I had ceased to be the friend he needed, wanted or imagined.
What he did was dramatic. He might have called it merely dramatic. I felt it as threatening. Though I cannot help but think I provoked him. And if we had “patched” a friendship back together, on whose terms would this have been conducted? Would it always be that I would have to agree not to press him on questions that might lead him to throw over some table between us again?
Or worse, would I have to witness his apology, forgive him myself, and put him on his best behaviour for the rest of our friendship?
Neither of those outcomes would have patched much together. I had been hurting too over what I saw as his lack of willingness or interest to understand the situation from my point of view. And so it went inside me as the table and the water and the beer and the glasses came crashing down around me. I had been, in a way, married to my friend, even if he was a salmon or a bear — a creature across an abyss from me. Perhaps this was the only way out of that marriage. Perhaps he had been preparing for (moving towards?) this moment more consciously than I had been.
The ending of this friendship, it is clear, left me looking for its story. It was as if all along there must have been a narrative with a trajectory carrying us in this direction. A story is of course a way of testing whether an experience can take on a shape. Murakami’s and Faber’s novels are not themselves full-blown stories, for there is almost no plot, no shape, to their stumbling episodic structures, and oddly enough in both books the self-doubting lovers might or might not find that close communion with another somewhere well beyond the last page of each novel.
These novels cohere round a series of questions rather than events: what do we know and what can we know about others, what is the nature of the distance that separates one person from another, how provisional is it to know someone anyway, and what does it mean to care about someone, even someone who is a character in a novel?
When an Indian says he is married to a salmon, this can be no stranger than me saying I spent a couple of weeks on a humid planet in another galaxy with an astronaut who is a Christian preacher and an inept husband, or I spent last night in Tokyo with an engineer who builds railway stations and believes himself to be colourless, though at least two women have told him he is full of colour. But do I go to this story-making as a way of keeping my experiences less personal and more cerebral?
When I got home that night eight years ago, I sat at my kitchen table, shaking, hugging myself, talking to my grown-up children about what happened. It was the talking that helped — a narrative taking shape.
Dunbar, like me, like all of us, worries at the question of what makes life so richly present to us, and why friendships seem to be at the core of this meaningfulness. He has been surveying Americans with questions about friendship for several decades, and he concludes that for many of us the small circle of intimate friendships we experience is reducing.
We are apparently lucky now, on average, if there are two people in our lives we can approach with tenderness and curiosity, with that assumption that time will not matter as we talk in a low, murmuring, hive-warm way to a close friend.
My friend cannot be replaced, and it might be that we did not in the end imagine each other fully enough or accurately enough as we approached that last encounter. I don’t know precisely what our failure was. The shock of what happened and the shock of the friendship ending has over the time since that dinner become a part of my history in which I remember feeling grief but am no longer caught in confused anger or guilt over it. The story of it might not have ended but it has subsided.
Perhaps in all friendships we are not only, at our best, agreeing to encountering the unique and endlessly absorbing presence of another person, but unknown to us we’re learning something about how to approach the next friendship in our lives. There is something comically inept and endearing about the possibility that one might still be learning how to be a friend right up to the end of life.
- Friday essay
- Michel de Montaigne
- Peer relationships
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Rhetorical Analysis Of Friends By Kate Dailey Essay
Friendship is a relationship of mutual trust, care and love between two individuals or a close group of people. Friendship neither depends on gender nor on age. Even, people of different genders and decades of age difference, are sometimes found to be good friends. For example, it is quite possible that your grandmother is your best friend, irrespective of whether you are a boy or a girl. What I believe is that, friendship always gives happiness and joy, irrespective of the age, caste, culture or religion of your friend or friends. It is a platform through which you can share your happiness, sorrow and even secrets with someone you love to spend your time with.
Long and Short Essay on Friendship in English
We have provided below short and long essay on Friendship in English for your information and knowledge.
The essays have been written in simple yet effective English to let you easily remember and present it when needed.
After going through these friendship essay you will know what friendship is, why friendship is important in our life, what are the qualities of good friends etc.
The essays will prove useful during events like Friendship Day, when you are asked to write an essay on friendship, give a speech or take part in a debate.
Friendship Essay 1 (100 Words)
Friendship is a faithful and loyal relationship between two or more person living anywhere in the world. We cannot leave our whole life alone and need a faithful relationship to someone to live happily called friends. Friends have intimate relationship and ca trust to each other forever. It is not limited to the age, sex and position of the person means friendship can be between men and women, men and men, women and women or human to animals of any age group. However, generally it grows between the persons of the same age without the limitation of sex and position. Friendship can develop between persons having similar or different passions, emotions or sentiments.
Friendship Essay 2 (150 words)
Friendship is the most valuable relationship in the life of a person instead of having many important things in life. No one of us has complete and satisfied life if we lack faithful friendship. Everyone needs a good and loyal friend to share bad or good life events, enjoy happy moments and share unbearable events of the life. A good and balanced human interaction is very necessary for the survival of everyone.
Good friends share each other’s emotions or sentiments which bring feeling of well being and mental satisfaction. A friend is a person whom one can know deeply, like and trust forever. Instead of being some similarity in the nature of two persons involved in the friendship, they have some different traits but they need each other without changing their uniqueness. Generally, friends motivate each other without criticizing but sometimes good friends criticize to bring some positive changes in each other.
Friendship Essay 3 (200 words)
A true friendship is the most precious gift of the life of persons involved in it. A person is called very lucky having true friends in his/her life. True friendship gives us memorable, sweet and pleasant experiences of many types in the life. Friendship is the most precious asset of one’s life which he/she never wants to lose. True friendship leads two or more persons involved in it towards success without any demotion in life. Searching a best friend is not an easy process, sometimes we get success and sometimes we lose because of misunderstandings to each other.
Friendship is a devoted feeling of love to which we can share anything about our life and care for each other always. A friend is someone who understands and appreciates other one without any exaggeration. True friends never becomes greedy to each other instead they want to give something better to each other in life. There are any boundaries or differentiation of age, caste, race, creed and sex exist between them. They know the realities of each other and live satisfactorily by helping each other.
Human is a social being and cannot live alone; he/she needs someone to share his/her feelings of joy or sorrow. Generally, a successful friendship exists between persons of same age, character and background. Friends are the loyal support for each other who aimlessly support during bad moments of life.
Friendship Essay 4 (250 words)
Friendship is the divine relationship between two or more persons. Friendship is another name of care and support to each other. It is based on the trust, feelings and proper understandings to each other. It is very ordinary and loyal relationship between two or more social people. People involved in the friendship care and support for each other forever without any greediness. The relationship of true friends becomes stronger day by day with care and trust.
Friends trust and support each other without showing their vanity and power to each other. They have sense of equity in their mind and know that anyone of them may need care and support anytime. Dedication and trust is very necessary to maintain the friendship for long time. Sometimes greedy people become unable to lead their friendship for long because of the lots of demands and lack of satisfaction. Some people make friendship just to fulfill their interests and demands.
Searching a good friend in the big crowd of people is as hard as searching a diamond in the coal mine. Real friends are not those who only stand with us in our good moments of life but those who stand in our trouble too. We must be careful while choosing our best friend as we may get cheated by someone. Getting a best friend in the life is very hard for everyone and if one gets it, he/she is really bestowed with the true love of God. A good friend always supports in bad time and suggests to go on the right path.
Friendship Essay 5 (300 words)
True friends are really bestowed to someone special in the life after hard works. Real friendship is the true relationship of two or more people where only trust exists without any demands. One always ready to give care, support and other needed things to other in the true friendship. Friends are very important in the lives of everyone as they play a great role in standing someone needy person by giving love, care and emotional support. Friendships can be between two or more people of any age group, sex, position, race or caste. However, generally friendship occurs between people of same age.
Some people successfully carry their childhood friendship for whole life however someone get break in between due to the misunderstanding, lack of time or other problems. Some people tend to have many friends at their kindergarten or primary level but only one or no one they carry in later life. Some people tend to have only one or two friends which they carry in later life even in old age very wisely. Friends can be from outside the family (neighbour, relative, etc) or inside the family (one of the family members).
Friends can be both types good or bad, good friends lead us on good path whereas bad friends lead us on bad path, so we should be careful while choosing friends in life. Bad friends can be proved very bad to us as they are quite enough to ruin our life completely. We need someone special in our life to share our feelings (happy or sad), to talk someone to remove our loneliness, to make laugh someone sad and many more. In the good company of our friends we get motivation to do any hard work in life and it becomes easy to pass bad times cheerfully.
Friendship Essay 6 (400 words)
Friendship is a devoted relation between two people in which both of them have true feeling of love, care and affection to each other without any demands and misunderstanding. Generally friendship occurs between two people having same tastes, feelings and sentiments. It is considered that friendship has no any limitations of age, sex, position, caste, religion and creed but sometimes it is seen that economic disparity or other differentiation damages the friendship. Thus it can be said that true and real friendship is possible between two like-minded and uniform status people having feeling of affection to each other.
There are many friends in the world who always remains together at the time of prosperity but only true, sincere and faithful friends who never let us to be alone in our bad times, time of hardship and trouble. Our bad times make us realize us about our good and bad friends. Everyone has attraction towards the money by nature but true friends never make us feel bad when we become in need of money or other support. However, sometimes lending or borrowing of money from friends keeps friendship in great risk. Friendship may be affected anytime by others or own so we need to make a balance in this relationship.
Sometimes friendship gets broken due to the ego and matter of self-respect. True friendship needs proper understanding, satisfaction, helping nature trust. True friend never exploits but tends to motivate each other to do right things in life. But sometimes the meaning of friendship becomes changed totally due to some fake and fraud friends who always use another one in wrong ways. Some people have tendency to unite as soon as possible but they also tend to terminate their friendship as soon as their interests become fulfilled. It is difficult to say something bad about the friendship but it is true that any careless person gets cheated in friendship. Now a day, it is very hard to find true friends in the crowd of bad and good people but if someone has true friend, no other than him is lucky and precious in the world.
True friendship can be between human and human and human and animals. There is no any doubt that best friends help in our difficulties and bad times of the life. Friends always try to save us in our dangers as well as provide timely advice. True friends are like best assets of our life as they share our sorrow, sooth our pain and make us feel happy.
Any relationship importance a lot in people’s life. All the essays given above are essay on friendship under various words limits written especially for the students by keeping in mind their needs and requirements. Above friendship essay can be used by the students of any class from one to twelfth. You can get various related essays such as:
My Best Friend Essay
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EMERGENCY ESSAY: No, sports fans, they are not tanking
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Nets social media is starting to sound like a conversation at an embalmers’ convention. It’s all about preparing the dead for burial.
“They’re tanking! they’re tanking!” goes the chorus of battered Brooklyn fans following the trades of Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving for four good, if lesser, players and enough draft capital — five unprotected first rounders plus a swap of firsts and four seconds — to choke an NBA scouting department.
Sorry, they’re not. That’s not the plan anyway.
Other than comments from team insiders both on the record and anonymously after the Clean Sweep era ended, there’s plenty of evidence to suggest the organization wants to win, wants to make a go of it in the post-season. Here’s a few points, drawn from what they did — and mostly didn’t do — at the deadline, to support that notion:
- Much to the surprise of pundits, the Nets did not go under the luxury tax threshold at the deadline. Yes, they went from a projected luxury tax bill of $108.2 million to $6.9 million, saving Joe Tsai nine figures of his personal wealth. They certainly could have gone further depleting the roster and chances at post-season play, but they didn’t. They stopped just short. Why is that important? Because even if they are $1 over the threshold at the end of the regular season, they will fall into the dreaded repeater tax next season. The CBA dictates that if you pay luxury taxes three years out of four, the repeater tax with its much more draconian penalties kicks in, making any moves this off-season more expensive. Tsai presumably decided that he’d rather try for the post-season this year. Yes, it is possible that the Nets will not pay any luxury taxes next season, as some have suggested, but to be sure, they decided not to take the chance.
- They could have taken up other teams’ offers for Mikal Bridges and Dorian Finney-Smith. According to Mike Scotto, they were offered four first rounders for Bridges and according to Brian Lewis, they were offered two first rounders for DFS. That would have given them 17 first rounders through 2029 the 11 they currently have plus six more, just two short of Thunder’s legendary haul, and maybe even putting them under the cap as well as the tax threshold, depending on what else they would’ve gotten back. That’s what tanking looks like.
- They could have bought out Seth Curry, their biggest expiring deal, saving even more money. Assuming Curry would have taken a little less than his $8.5 million deal, that too could have dropped their payroll, maybe erased the luxury tax, etc. They didn’t. Or they could have gone even more tankish and bought out the two-year deals of Joe Harris and/or Patty Mills or offered some of those newly acquired picks, along with trinkets and baubles, to get Ben Simmons off their hands.
- They signed Jacque Vaughn to an extension rather than waiting till the off-season. In effect, Vaughn’s deal is five years, this season plus four more. That’s a vote for stability if there ever was one. And considering that Sean Marks made the announcement of the long extension, we have to assume he’ll be back as well.
There’s also evidence they’d like to move quickly to get back in contention. For starters, the Nets turned the KD trade from a two-team deal to a four-team deal on the afternoon of the trade deadline. And why is that important? It generated an $18.1 million trade exception, the biggest in franchise history and the biggest in the NBA by a long shot. It has to be used with a year from February 9. As John Hollinger of The Athletic noted at the time, that’s “one of the rare exceptions large enough to do some real damage in the offseason.”
In the original configuration, as reported by Shams Charania, they would have turned Jae Crowder into five seconds from the Bucks instead of the two they eventually wound up with. Five seconds sounds nice, but that would have limited the exception to $7.9 million. They even paid Indiana an undisclosed amount of cash to make the four-team deal work. (And yes, the Nets have a history of using big TE’s. Last year, they traded the worse of their two picks in this June’s draft to Utah for Royce O’Neale, using most of the exception they got from the James Harden trade to Philly.)
There’s a lot of reasons to be skeptical — if not downright depressed — about the current situation. They are 2-6 since the deadline, 1-6 since the KD deal was completed and Mikal Bridges and Cam Johnson joined the team. Simmons situation remains, at best, uncertain. We don’t know how the loss of two superstars — three, if you go back a year — or Kyrie’s claim of “disrespect” will effect free agents’ views of the organization. (And really, Kyrie, they disrespected you .)
Yes, they might wind up in the lottery this year anyway but even if they lost every one of their remaining games, they’d still wouldn’t move into the top 10 the night of the lottery. Why bother? (The best they can do on May 16 would be the second pick since if they get the overall No. 1, Victor Wembanyama would go to the Rockets ... and NYPD would have to post extra cops on the Brooklyn Bridge to prevent a mass suicide.)
So, tanking is not part of the plan and players don’t tank. They are mentally and physically wired to win every time they take the court. So sit back or forward, curse whoever you want or scream whatever at clouds. Just root, root for the home team and if they don’t win it’s a shame because that’s the plan.
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I asked ChatGPT to write college admissions essays and then sent them to expert tutors to review. Read the full essays.
- I got OpenAI's ChatGPT to write some college admissions essays and asked tutors to review them.
- Two experts said they passed for student essays and may have had a shot at less selective colleges.
- Here are two of the essays they reviewed.
I asked OpenAI's ChatGPT to write some college admissions essays and sent them to two expert tutors to review. Both said the essays passed for a real student's work and might even stand up at some less-selective colleges.
Kevin Wong, Princeton University alumnus and cofounder of tutoring service PrepMaven, told Insider he knew of some students that had been admitted to colleges with lower-quality essays than the ones I generated. Adam Nguyen, the founder of tutoring company Ivy Link , said the essays were exemplary of what a very mediocre student would produce.
Both Wong and Nguyen praised the grammar and structure of the essays and criticized the lack of personal experiences and unique feelings. Nguyen called the essays "over-predictable" and they both agreed the essays wouldn't have had a chance at any top universities.
ChatGPT's essays were based on some old questions from the Common App , a widely used application process across the US. At first, the chatbot said it wouldn't write the essays for me, telling me it was "important that the admissions essay reflects the applicant's own thoughts, experiences, and writing style."
However, after prompting it to give me some examples of how I could answer the questions and then asking it to write me a "specific example answer" based on one of these, it generated some full-length essays. The process took around 10 minutes.
Here are two of the essays the tutors reviewed:
1. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
For the first essay, I asked the chatbot to write about an artistic or creative pursuit that consumes my free time and how it has allowed me to express myself. I also asked the bot to use vivid examples to illustrate the points. Here's what I got:
I have always been drawn to photography, but it wasn't until my senior year of high school that I really started to explore the art form. I signed up for a photography class on a whim, and quickly became obsessed with capturing the world around me through my lens.
What I love about photography is that it allows me to see the world in a new way. When I'm out shooting, I am constantly searching for beauty and interest in unexpected places. I find myself drawn to the interplay of light and shadow, the details that others might overlook, and the fleeting moments that can be captured and preserved forever.
As I have delved deeper into the art of photography, I have also found that it provides a powerful outlet for self-expression. Through my photos, I am able to convey my thoughts and feelings in a way that words alone cannot. When I'm behind the camera, I feel a sense of creative freedom and possibility that I haven't found in any other medium.
One project that I'm particularly proud of is a series of portraits that I took of my friends and family. I wanted to capture their personalities and essence in a way that was both honest and beautiful. I spent hours experimenting with lighting, posing, and composition to create images that felt true to who they are. When I showed them the final product, they were amazed by how I had managed to capture their essence in a single frame.
In addition to the personal satisfaction I get from creating art, I also love the way that photography allows me to connect with others. When I share my photos online or in a gallery, I am always amazed by the way that people respond to them. They see things that I might have missed, or they connect with the emotions that I was trying to convey. It's an incredible feeling to know that my art has touched someone else's life in a meaningful way.
When I want to learn more about photography, I turn to a variety of resources. I subscribe to photography magazines, follow photographers on social media, and take workshops whenever I can. But mostly, I learn by doing. I experiment with different techniques and styles, and I'm always looking for new ways to challenge myself and push my creativity to new heights.
In conclusion, photography is an artistic pursuit that consumes my free time and allows me to express myself in new and meaningful ways. Through this medium, I have discovered a new way of seeing the world, and a powerful tool for self-expression and connection.
2. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
For the second essay, I asked the chatbot to give me a specific example of failing at a project or task and learning from the experience. I didn't specify the kind of language it should use or the length.
During my junior year of high school, I was part of a team that was tasked with creating a new product for a national entrepreneurship competition. We had several months to develop the product, write a business plan, and create a pitch to present to a panel of judges. However, we underestimated the amount of time and resources we needed and ended up rushing through the final stages of the project.
As a result, our pitch was poorly prepared, and we didn't do well in the competition. I was devastated at the time, as I had invested a lot of time and effort into the project. However, I decided to take a step back and reflect on what went wrong.
I realized that our team lacked effective communication and project management skills. We didn't delegate tasks effectively, and we didn't set clear goals or timelines. I also realized that I had a tendency to take on too much responsibility and not ask for help when I needed it.
To address these issues, I decided to take a project management course and read books on effective teamwork and communication. I also started practicing delegation and setting clearer goals and timelines for myself and my team.
The following year, I participated in the same entrepreneurship competition with a new team. This time, we were much more organized and prepared, and we ended up winning first place at the regional level. This experience taught me the importance of effective communication, project management, and learning from failure.
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Daniel Ellsberg, who leaked the Pentagon Papers, announces he has terminal cancer
The Associated Press
Daniel Ellsberg speaks during an interview in Los Angeles on Sept. 23, 2009. Ellsberg, who copied and leaked documents that revealed secret details of U.S. strategy in the Vietnam War and became known as the Pentagon Papers, has announced he has terminal cancer and months to live. Nick Ut/AP hide caption
Daniel Ellsberg speaks during an interview in Los Angeles on Sept. 23, 2009. Ellsberg, who copied and leaked documents that revealed secret details of U.S. strategy in the Vietnam War and became known as the Pentagon Papers, has announced he has terminal cancer and months to live.
WASHINGTON — Daniel Ellsberg, who copied and leaked documents that revealed secret details of U.S. strategy in the Vietnam War and became known as the Pentagon Papers, has announced he has terminal cancer and months to live.
Ellsberg posted on his Facebook page Thursday that doctors diagnosed the 91-year-old with inoperable pancreatic cancer on Feb. 17 following a CT scan and MRI.
Doctors have given him between three and six months to live, he said.
The Pentagon Papers leaker explains why the Supreme Court draft leak is a good thing
Ellsberg said he has opted not to undergo chemotherapy and plans to accept hospice care when needed.
The documents in the Pentagon Papers looked in excruciating detail at the decisions and strategies of the Vietnam War. They told how U.S. involvement was built up steadily by political leaders and top military brass who were overconfident about U.S. prospects and deceptive about the accomplishments against the North Vietnamese.
Ellsberg, a former consultant to the Defense Department, provided the Pentagon Papers to Neil Sheehan, a reporter who broke the story for The New York Times in June 1971. Sheehan died in 2021.
Sheehan smuggled the documents out of the Massachusetts apartment where Ellsberg had stashed them, and illicitly copied thousands of pages and took them to the Times.
The administration of President Richard Nixon got a court injunction arguing national security was at stake and publication was stopped. The action started a heated debate about the First Amendment that quickly moved up to the Supreme Court. On June 30, 1971, the court ruled 6-3 in favor of allowing publication, and the Times and The Washington Post resumed publishing stories. The coverage won the Times the Pulitzer Prize for public service.
How The Pentagon Papers Changed Public Perception Of The War In Vietnam
The Nixon administration tried to discredit Ellsberg after the documents' release. Some of Nixon's aides orchestrated a break-in at the Beverly Hills office of Ellsberg's psychiatrist to find information to discredit him.
Ellsberg was charged with theft, conspiracy and violations of the Espionage Act, but his case ended in a mistrial when evidence surfaced about government-ordered wiretappings and break-ins.
Ellsberg said in his Facebook post that he feels "lucky and grateful" for his life.
"When I copied the Pentagon Papers in 1969, I had every reason to think I would be spending the rest of my life behind bars. It was a fate I would gladly have accepted if it meant hastening the end of the Vietnam War, unlikely as that seemed (and was)," he wrote.
"Yet in the end that action — in ways I could not have foreseen, due to Nixon's illegal responses — did have an impact on shortening the war," he wrote.
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LSU's Olivia Dunne promotes use of AI technology for essay writing, prompting university to issue warning
Dunne’s viral tiktok about the platform has had nearly a million views.
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Louisiana State University has issued a statement warning its students over the use of artificial intelligence after star gymnast Olivia Dunne posted a video on social media promoting the technology as it relates to essay writing.
Dunne, 20, posted a TikTok video on Sunday about the AI powered website Caktus AI, which has since gone viral among her more than 7.2 million followers on the popular social media platform.
Olivia Dunne practices on the uneven bars for the U.S. Gymnastics Championships at TD Garden in Boston on Aug. 15, 2018. (Barry Chin/The Boston Globe via Getty Images.)
"Need to get my creativity flowing for my essay due at midnight," a text in the video read.
LSU’S CARLA TEJEDO PUTTS FOR BIRDIE AS OPPONENT WALKS HER LINE, SPARKING ETIQUETTE DEBATE
The video, which has had nearly a million views, prompted the university to issue a warning to its students, cautioning them about plagiarism.
"At LSU, our professors and students are empowered to use technology for learning and pursuing the highest standards of academic integrity," the statement said, via The Advocate.
Olivia Dunne of LSU takes a "selfie" with fans after a PAC-12 meet against Utah at Jon M. Huntsman Center in Salt Lake City on Jan. 6, 2023. (Alex Goodlett/Getty Images)
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"However, using AI to produce work that a student then represents as one’s own could result in a charge of academic misconduct, as outlined in the Code of Student Conduct."
LSU’s code of conduct for students does not specifically outline the use of artificial intelligence but does qualify plagiarism as academic misconduct.
Plagiarism is defined in the code of conduct as a "lack of appropriate citation, or the unacknowledged inclusion of someone else's words, structure, ideas, or data; failure to identify a source, or the submission of essentially the same work for two assignments without permission of the Instructor."
Olivia Dunne of LSU looks on during a PAC-12 meet against Utah at Jon M. Huntsman Center in Salt Lake City on Jan. 6, 2023. (Alex Goodlett/Getty Images.)
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The statement did not specifically name Dunne.
Dunne is in her junior year at LSU. In 2021, she made the SEC’s First-Year Academic Honor Roll and was a WCGA Academic All-American. Dunne was a WCGA All-American in the uneven bars and, in 2022, was named to the SEC Academic Honor Roll.
Fox News’ Ryan Gaydos contributed to this report.
Paulina Dedaj is a Sports Reporter for Fox News Digital.
While the letter had a "tangibility and physicality that made it seem more genuine and real," Facebook gave her an immediate and personal back-and-forth with a friend more than 9,000 miles away—...
And perhaps, one of the strangest (at least to me) phenomenons connected to them is Facebook friendship. A Facebook friendship is adding a person to your list of friends. In my opinion, this is a reasonable thing to do with people whom you care about, or whom you maintain a relationship with.
Friendship is nothing but pure love without any expectations. Role of a Friend: True friends share and support each other even during the toughest of times. A true friend is one who feels happy for our success, who feel sad for our failures, fight with us for silly things and hugs us the next second, gets angry on us when we do any mistakes.
Friendship is one of the greatest bonds anyone can ever wish for. Lucky are those who have friends they can trust. Friendship is a devoted relationship between two individuals. They both feel immense care and love for each other. Usually, a friendship is shared by two people who have similar interests and feelings.
Trust helps friends feel comfortable with each other because they feel like they can express their ideas or feelings. Trust helps form friendships because without trust all relationships and connections are empty. Another important aspect of friendship is the different adventures I can share with my friends. Going out with friends is important ...
Answer 1: The purpose of Facebook is to allow people to build a community and make the world a smaller place. It helps to connect with friends and family and also discover all the latest happenings in the world. Question 2: What is the disadvantage of Facebook? Answer 2: Facebook is potentially addictive and can hamper the productivity of people.
The most common reason for people to use Facebook is to keep in contact with their friends and family. Since Facebook is free, it has become more useful than e-mails or telephones. ... Students looking for free, top-notch essay and term paper samples on various topics. Additional materials, such as the best quotations, synonyms and word ...
A friendship is a relationship with a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. But Bradley Shear defines a "Facebook Friend" as someone with whom you may or may not have ever met or interacted with other than requesting that he or she be added to your network or that you confirmed that he or she be added to your network.
Essay On Friendship 250 words. There is nothing more important than having a true friendship. In this world of selfish relations, having a true friendship is a true blessing. Friendship is viewed as one of the strongest bonds that any person can wish for. A genuine friendship makes your life fulfilling and worth living.
Facebook is rapidly attracting multitudes of visitors every month instigating a shift in communication. This change consequently presents that societies are choosing to become part of the popular Facebook culture for various reasons, such as its renowned opportunities for keeping in touch with current social circles, reunifying long lost family and friends and broadening prospects of finding ...
Erhardt 12/4/12 Friendship and Facebook Facebook started out as a simple social networking site‚ and has now grown to be one of the biggest companies in the world. One would typically join the site to be social with others‚ but it seems like it is almost distancing people from one another.
Facebook is affecting friendship in society today because people use it too much, have too many "friends", and do not put as much effort in to their "real life" friends. The idea of Facebook seems like it would be a great way to maintain social relationships, but because people are using it so much it is actually isolating them more than anything.
Friends can help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times. Friends prevent isolation and loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship, too. Friends can also: Increase your sense of belonging and purpose. Boost your happiness and reduce your stress. Improve your self-confidence and self-worth.
These are your best friends (and often family members). On the flipside, groups can extend to five hundred, the acquaintance level, and to fifteen hundred, the absolute limit—the people for whom ...
Making friends is based on how we want our friendship to be. It has to be filled with love, honesty, loyalty, and compassion towards each other. From a young age, we spend a lot of time with our friends. Friendship is something that has boundless love and care. The essence of friendship is that the mindset of people has to be the same in order ...
Friendship is established over the sacrifice, love, faith, and concern of each other. Below we have mentioned some qualities that exist in a good friendship: Honest and trustworthy Accepting and loyal Non-judgemental Supportive Inspiring and motivating Forgiving Helpful and generous Famous Examples of Friendship in Indian Mythology
Friendship is an incomparable, immeasurable boon to me, and a source of life — not metaphorically but literally. About eight years ago, I went to dinner with a dear friend I had known for more ...
Social Networking and the End of True Friendship Essay. "A wealth of content creates a poverty of attention.". - Nobel Laureate Herbert Simon - Facebook now has over 1.3 billion monthly active users (Edwards, 2014). When we consider such a colossal volume of information being pumped continuously into cyberspace, social media's pervasive ...
Friendship essay topics can help to determine how much student can reflect on the topic that doesn't require research and has to consist only of your personal opinions and thoughts. Such papers are usually given to students that study sociology or psychology, but the areas of study do not limit to that, so you should be ready to find a lot of ...
There are many varying definitions of "friend" but Dailey ultimately defines "Facebook friend" as being people who you interact with most frequent. This definition is supported by Rebecca G. Adams, a professor of sciology at the University of North Carolina, Greensboro.
Friendship Essay 1 (100 Words) Friendship is a faithful and loyal relationship between two or more person living anywhere in the world. We cannot leave our whole life alone and need a faithful relationship to someone to live happily called friends. Friends have intimate relationship and ca trust to each other forever.
It's all about preparing the dead for burial. "They're tanking! they're tanking!" goes the chorus of battered Brooklyn fans following the trades of Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving for four ...
Read the full essays. I got OpenAI's ChatGPT to write some college admissions essays and asked tutors to review them. Two experts said they passed for student essays and may have had a shot at ...
Ellsberg said in his Facebook post that he feels "lucky and grateful" for his life. "When I copied the Pentagon Papers in 1969, I had every reason to think I would be spending the rest of my life ...
LSU gymnast Olivia Dunne posted a video to her TikTok on Sunday promoting the use of A.I. technology for essay writing, prompting the university to issue a warning to its students.