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The Lemon Clot Essay- IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO HAVE PEOPLE OVER AFTER BIRTH YOU NEED TO READ THIS!

The Lemon Clot Essay (by Sharon1964) You will be leaking out of places you don't want to leak out of. Do you really want to stand up from the couch and have your father's parents see that not only have you bled through your pad, but the blood is now running down your leg. Do you really want to say, "honey, can you come with me to the bathroom, I am bleeding all over and I feel a huge bloodclot coming out"... in front of them? Contrast that to "mom, I need your help please, now, I'm bleeding all over!" Does your husband really understand the volume of stuff that will be coming out of you, the possibility of lemon-sized clots of blood? Not 2-dimensional lemon-sized, but huge, round, 3-dimensional lemon-sized? How many bathrooms do you have? If only one, do you REALLY want to have to make it "guest-level clean" every time you leave it? Do you really want this gang of people ogling your diaper-sized pads, peribottle, tucks pads, and all the other supplies that will be in the bathroom? Even if you have two bathrooms, that means you can't use the main bathroom, because you still have to leave it "guest-level clean" every time you use it. Do they really plan to do something other than hold the baby, pass the baby around, and sit around expecting you guys to wait on them? Are they going to sit and stare at you? Thirty minutes after they arrive, and baby wants to breastfeed, are they going to quickly and willingly LEAVE your home so that you can breastfeed in the privacy and comfort of your space? Or are they going to hang around outside, waiting for you to be done, and knocking every so often wanting to know if they can come back in? Yeah, that's great for breastfeeding. Or better yet, are they going to blow you off, saying "it's no big deal", and expect you to breastfeed in front of them? Even experienced moms need several weeks of practice to get good at it, so to speak, so that they can breastfeed wherever they want. Learning to breastfeed is not a time for people to ogle and stare at you. When your breasts are engorged and painful and you want NOTHING to touch them, what then? Does your dh think it will be okay for his dad to stare at your huge naked breasts as you walk around topless? What if your birth is smack in the middle of their trip? So what are they going to do the first few days, before baby? Are they going to sit and stare at you, waiting for the big moment? Then what? Are they going to camp out in your hospital room every day, all day? Yeah, that's great for resting. What happens when you leave the hospital and they beat you to your own home, and all you want to do is lay down in your own bed? Are they going to leave graciously, or are they going to sit in your living room, eating your food, messing up your house, and making noise, so you can't nap? Does your DH normally allow people to invite themselves over to visit you guys without even ASKING? You guys are setting yourselves up for a lifetime of this. Then you will be blamed when you try to tell them that it is not a good time for you. Does your DH understand ANY of these things?? Does he not understand that it is NOT about entertaining guests, but about recovery from a major medical procedure (either vaginal or c-section)? Does he not understand that you just grew another human being in your body, and will have just gone through the process of getting it out?? This is going to be an exhausting, messy, wildly hormonal time. Does he not get that?? ****************************************** Who Can Even be on the List to be Considered to Stay at Your Home After Childbirth by Sharon1964 You know, nobody gets to stay in your home after birth unless they are helpful. So is his mother going to.... wash your bloody underwear in the sink? Clean and disinfect your toilet and perhaps the bathroom floor after you spend time in there? Clean up lemon size blood clots that come out of your vagina if you need help? Get hot washcloths and lay them on your naked engorged breasts? Hold a cold wet washcloth on the back of your neck when you break out in a sweat all over? Is she going to cook for you and clean for you and do the laundry, and make sure you are stocked with diapers and wipes and clean blankets? Is she going to allow you to breastfeed in private in your own living room by either going to her room or going outside? Is she going to allow you to pick up your own crying baby? Is she going to ASK you if you would like her to get the baby for you since you may be sore? Is she going to disappear when you want alone time with your new baby and your husband? Is she going to refrain from giving you advice but instead ask you what you need? And what's his dad going to do? Is he going to cut the grass and take out the garbage and make runs to the store for juice and milk? Is he going to wash the car or walk the dog or change the cat litter box? No? Yeah, that's what I thought.

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LOL. This is so blunt, but true. With my first I was very blunt about the fact that I didn't want anybody at the house. My sister was welcome (she also held my leg back while I was giving birth - she has officially seen it all!) and that's it. The grandparents were welcome to visit whenever they wanted, but in small spurts. To me, the time was for our new family to bond and it was so nice to have that time to ourselves. I locked the doors, put a sign up that said "Thank you for visiting, but baby and mommy are resting now" and then later "Thank you for visiting - please use the disinfectant before coming in" :) I was probably overly blunt, but that is still one of the happiest times of my life.

this is soooo true!!

this time around I'm only telling the grand parents that I'm in labor.. not only did I not get any alone time with my DD the whole time we were in the hospital and the first few days at home, the whole time I was in labor my mom and BD's phones were ringing off the freaking hook, and they'd talk to these nosey buttholes super loud while I was screaming "shut the fuck up I'm trying to rest!" lol I could not get my DD to latch because every time it was feeding time some stranger to me would come in.

first time mommy's, you really need to consider these things. you're not going to feel up to too much company after you give birth whether you have a vaginal birth or a c-section, they're both painful and bloody.

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I thought this was perfect. And I'm totally putting up the signs.

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Thanks for posting this! Very good info for FTMs, not something we would necessarily think about. And yes, love the signs idea!

With my first people would ust stop over without even callin first, and then would be weird when I nursed. Not this time.

For OHs to read -the lemon clot essay

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The Lemon Clot Essay for Moms to be

babycenter lemon clot essay

First, shout out to the childfree folk out there! Your MiLs can and do suck as much as the rest of ours. Here's another reason to hold your resolve, if you needed one.

This is for moms whose family, from MiL to their very own family wanting to come "help" after the baby is born. A little perspective. You deserve privacy and comfort and maybe this will help you get that.

"The Lemon Clot Essay (by Sharon1964)

You will be leaking out of places you don't want to leak out of. Do you really want to stand up from the couch and have your father's parents see that not only have you bled through your pad, but the blood is now running down your leg. Do you really want to say, "honey, can you come with me to the bathroom, I am bleeding all over and I feel a huge bloodclot coming out"... in front of them? Contrast that to "mom, I need your help please, now, I'm bleeding all over!" Does your husband really understand the volume of stuff that will be coming out of you, the possibility of lemon-sized clots of blood? Not 2-dimensional lemon-sized, but huge, round, 3-dimensional lemon-sized?

How many bathrooms do you have? If only one, do you REALLY want to have to make it "guest-level clean" every time you leave it? Do you really want this gang of people ogling your diaper-sized pads, peribottle, tucks pads, and all the other supplies that will be in the bathroom? Even if you have two bathrooms, that means you can't use the main bathroom, because you still have to leave it "guest-level clean" every time you use it.

Do they really plan to do something other than hold the baby, pass the baby around, and sit around expecting you guys to wait on them? Are they going to sit and stare at you? Thirty minutes after they arrive, and baby wants to breastfeed, are they going to quickly and willingly LEAVE your home so that you can breastfeed in the privacy and comfort of your space? Or are they going to hang around outside, waiting for you to be done, and knocking every so often wanting to know if they can come back in? Yeah, that's great for breastfeeding.

Or better yet, are they going to blow you off, saying "it's no big deal", and expect you to breastfeed in front of them? Even experienced moms need several weeks of practice to get good at it, so to speak, so that they can breastfeed wherever they want. Learning to breastfeed is not a time for people to ogle and stare at you.

When your breasts are engorged and painful and you want NOTHING to touch them, what then? Does your dh think it will be okay for his dad to stare at your huge naked breasts as you walk around topless?

What if your birth is smack in the middle of their trip? So what are they going to do the first few days, before baby? Are they going to sit and stare at you, waiting for the big moment? Then what? Are they going to camp out in your hospital room every day, all day? Yeah, that's great for resting. What happens when you leave the hospital and they beat you to your own home, and all you want to do is lay down in your own bed? Are they going to leave graciously, or are they going to sit in your living room, eating your food, messing up your house, and making noise, so you can't nap?

Does your DH normally allow people to invite themselves over to visit you guys without even ASKING? You guys are setting yourselves up for a lifetime of this. Then you will be blamed when you try to tell them that it is not a good time for you.

Does your DH understand ANY of these things?? Does he not understand that it is NOT about entertaining guests, but about recovery from a major medical procedure (either vaginal or c-section)? Does he not understand that you just grew another human being in your body, and will have just gone through the process of getting it out?? This is going to be an exhausting, messy, wildly hormonal time. Does he not get that??

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This rant is great, I could relate on so many levels!

I'm so glad that we've never lived very close to any family, especially when I was pregnant and postpartum. I would rather do everything by myself than entertain people. I can wash my own laundry if it means I can nap on the couch while the newborn is asleep, and no one can judge me for living out of laundry baskets. :-P

My husband and I are really fucking lucky! Our parents are not assholes. Other than his brother, all of our family members live too far away for any kind of popping up to happen (we're in Cali, my family is in Maryland and his is in Hawaii).

In my experience this is inaccurate. I just gave birth in february. Week one I had no such huge clots. In the hospital they wanted to know if I had any like that. I had period like blood coming out for a couple of weeks and then it was a really light flow for a few more weeks. Yes it was uncomfortable to sit down and I had to use the peri bottle after using the toilet. It just doesn't seem like it was as bad as the lemon clot essay claims. My maxi pads with wings caught all the blood. However, I did have my SO keep MIL pretty limited for the first couple of weeks. I should post some stories about her. She's a gem... /s

I had an unplanned C in May and they told me to let them know if I had anything bigger than a golf ball.

BLEW MY MIND.

So golf ball sized would be normal???

But I didn't get anything near that size. Maybe a little larger than normal period clots, but nothing astonishing.

In my experience, it's about right. Especially for my second born. She was a one-push wonder, literally, i pushed once and she just popped right out after 4 hours of labor, but the aftermath was pretty bad. i won't go into too many details but, i was easily changing my clothes 3 times a day, and showering up to twice a day. I got to a point, i wasn't washing my hair every time i got in the shower, i was just trying not to feel gross plus i was tired so i didn't want to fuss with wet hair too much. I won't get into what we had to eventually had to do to keep our bed sanitary.

I actually lived with my MiL at that time and she was a saint. Although, personally, if i bloodied up my underwear, i would just toss them. i thought that part was a bit odd.

Does your husband really understand the volume of stuff that will be coming out of you, the possibility of lemon-sized clots of blood? Not 2-dimensional lemon-sized, but huge, round, 3-dimensional lemon-sized?

Is this supposed to happen? I find pregancy verfy fascinating, but damn, I wasn't prepared to read that! o.o

It depends on each individual though. My doctor cleared out TONS of clots after I gave birth to my son. I passed no clots after going back home.

Yeah that was a new one for me too!

Maybe it depends? I had a c section with my first and only bled for like two weeks and don't recall having any bugs clots after like the first few days. After I was up and moving it was like a heavier than normal period.

yea. stuff has also been growing around the baby for almost a year and gets pretty messy afterwards. It's more like pieces of lining than a typical thought of what a "clot" is, though. It's an easier term to use to describe what you're looking at. No one ever mentions that in the movies. lol

This post made me really sad. I have zero to do with my mother and MIL lives 2,000 miles away (although, she wouldn't do any of the needed/helpful things).

My husband? He takes 8 hours to go what housework j can do in 30 minutes and acts like he deserves a medal or trophy or some shit.

He takes 8 hours to go what housework I can do in 30 minutes

YES. OMG. My husband is rather awesome. He works and then comes home and makes dinner every night.

If the kitchen is a wreck (and it always is, because he doesn't really understand the concept of "cleaning as you go" during cooking) I'll be able to get it cleaned to my satisfaction in about an hour. That means dishes loaded into the dishwasher, trash thrown away, food in tupperware thingies, stovetop, sink, countertops clean, floor swept. CLEAN KITCHEN. If I send him in there, I'll go down there wondering what the fuck he did for an hour.

Now that we have a baby, I just said 'fuck it' and hired a housekeeper. I can't nurse a baby and clean the kitchen at the same time.

I'm nervous for when i get pregnant bc my NSiL had a baby and just ate up all the attention she got, would allow people to come over alllllllll the time as soon as she got home and at the hospital. To each their own but Im not gonna be into having sooo many people around a newborn and theyre gonna compare that to me needing more space (if were even speaking at that point). Also theyve been really shitty to us and we're VLC and im not changing that bc of being pregnant they can suck it unless they wanna apologize but NMiL has never apologized for anything as far as i know

don't let them know when the baby is born and you're still in the hospital!!!

In fact, let this be the perfect opportunity to get to use the term "fort night" when you announce how long ago baby was born. Really. this is the best advice i've ever seen when it comes to boundary stomping Ns, bat shit crazy, and just idiots. There's nothing for them to want or mess up for you if they don't know you have it (the baby). The next best advice i've seen is to lie and say your due date is a few weeks later than it really is, which is what i'm doing. :D

Get your husband on board ASAP. Have him read this essay. It's a big deal and it's for your own health and your health is directly relevant to your baby's health. Their feeeeeeeling and what they want are not and will never be more important than your and your baby's very physical and emotional health.

This is what I keep trying to explain to my husband. I'm probably going to have to show him this. He wants them here because they are his parents but doesn't understand it won't be helpful. MIL will help with cleaning and stuff but will ask 500 questions while doing it to not step on my toes and because she can make no decisions on her own. Which just annoys me and I'll feel like I'm doing the chores anyway. FIL probably won't do anything besides sit and watch TV, ask for food, and demand to hold the baby. And they will hover. I'll feel banished to the nursery or our room. And our house is small so they will wake up every time the baby cries. They live 2 hours away.

With my parents, I know they won't stop by unless I ask (live 30 minutes away). My mom will just do chores and I'll be okay with asking her personal questions. My dad will do yardwork, walk the dogs, and run errands.

World's apart in help but all husband and ILs see is that my parents are closer and we will see them more. I do not want them here for 2 weeks. Only 1 more month so we will see how it plays out.

Yea, forward it to him.

I'd suggest you have them wait to see the baby until he/she is 3 weeks old or so. Like tell them when they've been birthed send pics, Whatever. then have them come out later. Remind them and Husband that babies aren't bread. They don't expire. He'll still be as sweet as sugar at 2 and 3 weeks as he was at birth. :)

Change the locks, don't answer the phone or door and restrict them on Facebook

If I ever take the parenthood plunge (current fencesitter) my parents and in laws better believe it when I say no to unwanted delivery room appearances, uninvited visits or unsolicited advice!

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babycenter lemon clot essay

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babycenter lemon clot essay

babycenter lemon clot essay

"Lemon Clot Essay" aka guests after delivery? Long

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Re: "Lemon Clot Essay" aka guests after delivery? Long

bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!

beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!

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emmyjoy11 said: Ok so now I am scared out of my mind! So now I have questions maybe dumb ones! Do u start bleeding before your water breaks? You can have bloody show, you won't bleed like you will afterwards though once you water breaks. And after the baby is born and the placenta is out how many days do you bleed? It differs with each woman. Some bleed for a a couple weeks others up to 8-10 weeks I thought if u breastfeed then u don't bleed or bleed as long? And they are huge clots?? Yes you will pass some big clots. Yikes! Sorry I know nothing. I was never told anything either had to figure everything out on my own this far.

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emmyjoy11 said: Ok so now I am scared out of my mind! So now I have questions maybe dumb ones! Do u start bleeding before your water breaks? And after the baby is born and the placenta is out how many days do you bleed? I thought if u breastfeed then u don't bleed or bleed as long? And they are huge clots?? Yikes! Sorry I know nothing. I was never told anything either had to figure everything out on my own this far.
emmyjoy11 said: Ok so now I am scared out of my mind! So now I have questions maybe dumb ones! Do u start bleeding before your water breaks? And after the baby is born and the placenta is out how many days do you bleed? I thought if u breastfeed then u don't bleed or bleed as long? And they are huge clots?? Yikes! Sorry I know nothing. I was never told anything either had to figure everything out on my own this far.

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katehgee said: So I am shopping for a new living room couch, and am seriously considering lining it with wee wee pads and wearing depends so I don't ruin it with my post-labor glory. I don't mind dog and baby messes, but blood doesn't come out. Irrational FTM fears for the win.

missmissie82

katehgee said: So I am shopping for a new living room couch, and am seriously considering lining it with wee wee pads and wearing depends so I don't ruin it with my post-labor glory. I don't mind dog and baby messes, but blood doesn't come out. Irrational FTM fears for the win.

image

Let me start by just saying I definately agree that MILs can be extremely obnoxious and overbearing. With my ex MIL she didnt miss a thing. She came back to visit me while I was in active labor, which at the time I just wanted to be left alone until the baby was here and the pain was gone, she "patted" my head and talked about wanting to take the pain from me. All good intentions I know but VERY annoying at the time. However, I just dealt with it and like the contractions it passed.

 Fast forward to my fiancee's mother. She did not even make an attempt to come to the hospital to see our DS. (she has also never been to our house or our DS first birthday) Which for me I was ok with because she is very self centered and I just didnt want to deal with it, BUT seeing the heartbreak on my fiancee's face because his mother is selfish and wouldnt come let him show off his son was aweful.

I guess what I am saying is yes your are going through a lot, yes your are going to bleed, leak, sweat, hurt, and be a little miserable for a little bit. However, this is a very exciting time and whether it is your first baby or your tenth baby everyone wants to be involved. Plus this is a big day for your husband, SO, boyfriend, fiancee also. Trust me seeing him excited is much better than hurt during this time.

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  1. The Lemon Clot Essay- IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO HAVE PEOPLE

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    BabyCentre may earn a commission from shopping links. For OHs to read -the lemon clot essay. member avatar. Dragonfurrkid. Last edited 1/5/15.

  3. The Lemon Clot Essay for Moms to be : r/JUSTNOMIL

    "The Lemon Clot Essay (by Sharon1964). You will be leaking out of places you don't want to leak out of. Do you really want to stand up from

  4. "Lemon Clot Essay" aka guests after delivery? Long

    The Lemon Clot Essay (by Sharon1964) ... the possibility of lemon-sized clots of blood? ... Hope this helps: Babycenter - lochia.

  5. Lemon Clot Essay

    everyone is different but for those who don't want visitors, this could help explain why. The Lemon Clot Essay (by Sharon1964). You will be leaking out of

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