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All first-year applicants will complete a few Yale-specific short answer questions. These required questions are slightly different based on the application platform an applicant chooses. The 2022-2023 Yale-specific questions for the Coalition Application, Common Application, and QuestBridge Application are detailed below.

Short Answer Questions

Applicants submitting the Coalition Application , Common Application , or QuestBridge Application will respond to the following short answer questions:

Applicants applying with the QuestBridge Application will complete the questions above via the Yale QuestBridge Questionnaire, available on the Yale Admissions Status Portal after an application has been received.

Applicants submitting the Coalition Application or Common Application will also respond to the following short answer questions, in no more than 200 characters (approximately 35 words):

Applicants submitting the Coalition Application or Common Application will respond to one of the following prompts in 400 words or fewer.

1. Yale carries out its mission “through the free exchange of ideas in an ethical, interdependent, and diverse community.” Reflect on a time when you exchanged ideas about an important issue with someone holding an opposing view. How did the experience lead you either to change your opinion or to sharpen your reasons for holding onto it?

2. Reflect on a time when you have worked to enhance a community to which you feel connected. Why have these efforts been meaningful to you? You may define community however you like.

Yale University

Among the world's great research universities, yale is unique in its focus on the personal and academic growth of its undergraduates. all students enroll in a single college with access to more than 80 academic majors, and degree programs ranging from abet-accredited engineering majors to conservatory-level programs in the arts. yale's residential college system creates small intimate communities comprised of students who represent all backgrounds, interests, and perspectives. graduates of yale college are prepared to become leaders in every field in every part of the world., admissions office.

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Yale University 2022-23 Supplemental Essay Prompt Guide

Regular Decision Deadline: Jan 2

You Have:

Yale University 2022-23 Application Essay Question Explanations

Short Answers dominate the Yale application. So, in brief, they’re looking for confidence. When an essay must clock in at under 100 words, you don’t have time to waffle. There’s no room for you to circle your main idea with broad statements. You’ve got to get straight to the point, and clearly. The successful applicant will choose precise words that can do double — even triple duty — telling your story (literally), bringing vivid details to life, and highlighting your overall intelligence.

Writing a good short answer takes a lot of wordsmithing, so be prepared to spend a great deal of time tooling, trimming, and scrapping your drafts. Weirdly, although the prompts require incisive thought, the application as a whole is long and meandering, with separate sets of questions for students applying through different platforms. So, pay attention and make sure you focus on the right assignment.

The Requirements: 1 list; 6 short answer questions; 1 additional short essay of 400 words

Supplemental Essay Type(s): Why , Short Answer , Community , Oddball

Students at Yale have time to explore their academic interests before committing to one or more major fields of study. Many students either modify their original academic direction or change their minds entirely. As of this moment, what academic areas seem to fit your interests or goals most comfortably? Please indicate up to three from the list provided.

There’s only one trick to generating a straightforward list of your academic interests: be honest. If you already know what you want to major in, or have it narrowed down to a few departments, you’re set! Don’t waste time trying to strategize. Choosing anything other than your true interests would be a misrepresentation of who you are and a disservice to you and the admissions office. This assignment will no doubt be most challenging for the undecideds, but to help you narrow your focus, try to tell a story with your choices. How can you use this to reveal something about what you value and what excites you intellectually? You could try to illustrate a general inclination (art history, studio art, and American studies). Or if you really feel like you could go any direction, try to show a balance, picking majors across domains that link to each other in a way that still makes sense (biology, psychology, classics)—you’ll thank yourself when answering the next question.

Tell us about a topic or idea that excites you and is related to one or more academic areas you selected above. Why are you drawn to it? (200 words or fewer)

You’ve only got 100 words, but if you chose wisely (and honestly) in the previous question, answering this one should be a cinch. Whether you listed one or several interests, your goal is to tell a cohesive story about your intellectual curiosity. Ideally, you should try to recount an anecdote that illustrates your engagement with your chosen field, or demonstrates your ability to link seemingly disparate fields. Perhaps you’re interested in both religion and astrophysics because each offers a way for you to contemplate our place in the universe. But while you may be tempted to wax philosophical, you should beware of veering into overly abstract territory. This is a great opportunity for you to explain how your intellectual interests relate to who you are as a person. Don’t waste it!

What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words or fewer)

This is a short version of the Why essay, the mini Why. Yale wants to make sure you are psyched for the full college experience at their school. So, we’ve said it once and we’ll say it again: DO. YOUR. RESEARCH. As a top school, Yale attracts many applicants based on its reputation alone, so it won’t do you any good to go on and on about the world-class education you will receive. Yale admissions officers know — and they know you know. Locate specific opportunities within your department and related programs and centers that really make your heart sing with excitement.

And make sure you talk about yourself! Yale doesn’t need a summary of its website (even if you write about a forgotten page deep in the Math Department website). Talk about your academic and professional goals and how Yale will help you achieve them. What unexpected classes might you want to take to sate your curiosity? How will you drive yourself to succeed? Don’t forget to include details about personal growth. If you think you can accomplish this and that on campus, what experience do you have to back up those claims? What about the Yale experience will enrich your life overall? Which extracurricular activities and organizations will you take advantage of? Do they offer quidditch ? If so, you should definitely play. Figure out why you’re applying to Yale over all the other schools out there – and then deliver it with eloquence and confidence.

Applicants applying with the QuestBridge Application will complete the questions above via the Yale QuestBridge Questionnaire, available on the Yale Admissions Status Portal after an application has been received.

Applicants submitting the coalition application or common application will also respond to the following short answer questions, in no more than 200 characters (approximately 35 words):, what inspires you (200 characters or fewer).

200 characters is not a lot of characters, especially when it comes to a concept as broad as inspiration. You don’t have time to describe what the word means to you, and admissions officers don’t have time for vague answers (“nature”) or trite ones (“my mom”). First and foremost, have fun with this prompt. Think of the 200 character challenge as a game. Then, get specific. What experiences have launched some of your best ideas? Although you won’t have time to relate the whole story, you can draw upon your personal experience for a hyper-specific, memorable answer like “the color of fresh drosophila eggs” or “Goldie Hawn’s crazy eyes in Death Becomes Her .” You get the idea.

Yale’s residential colleges regularly host conversations with guests representing a wide range of experiences and accomplishments. What person, past or present, would you invite to speak? What would you ask them to discuss? (200 characters or fewer)

Pro tip: your question is more important than your guest. At its core, this prompt is about your curiosity. Being able to ask a good question is probably more important than being able to give a good answer (especially when you are a student). So, what are you curious about? What do you find most puzzling about your chosen field of study? About the last thing you read? About the human condition or the afterlife? Once you have honed in on your area of curiosity, think about who might be a good person to ask. Even if your initial idea feels vague, you can always sculpt it into a more specific question once you know who you’re asking. So, rather than asking Einstein about relativity, maybe you’ll end up pressing him for answers about the future of women in STEM.

You are teaching a new Yale course. What is it called? (200 characters or fewer)

The previous question asked you what you’re curious about, and this one is asking you what you know. What are you good at? Reach beyond the traditional academic areas towards skills you may have cultivated on your own time — cooking, knitting, vlogging, Esperanto. Then, think about how you might teach an academic course on this skill. Think beyond “Vlogging 101” and probe to a real intellectual issue worth exploring — “The Economics of Vlogging.”

What is something about you that is not included anywhere else in your application? (200 characters or fewer)

This is one of the hardest prompts! What do they want to know?! Where do you start? Birth? School? Puberty? First, take a breath and calm down. Think about why they’re asking you this question and it will all fall into place. While many applications look similar, with impressive grades, extracurriculars, and teacher recommendations, this essay makes it so you can stand out from the crowd with your personality. Do you have a very sarcastic sense of humor? Do you make more dad jokes than your own father? Do all of your friends refer to you as the “artsy” one? Yale wants to know that you’re more than your transcripts, so take this opportunity to share a piece of yourself that they wouldn’t otherwise get to see. This prompt also lends itself to recycling previously written essays for other schools quite well, so you might want to consider revisiting it once you’ve made a dent in writing your supplemental essays for other schools.

Applicants submitting the Coalition Application or Common Application will respond to one of the following prompts in 400 words or fewer.

Yale carries out its mission “through the free exchange of ideas in an ethical, interdependent, and diverse community.” reflect on a time when you exchanged ideas about an important issue with someone holding an opposing view. how did the experience lead you either to change your opinion or to sharpen your reasons for holding onto it.

Engaging with others in meaningful conversations about important issues can be intimidating and challenging, and the Yale admissions committee knows this. Nevertheless, we have all experienced standing up for what we believe in some capacity, so scroll through your memory to identify a time when you had an uncomfortable conversation with friends, family, or even mere acquaintances. Maybe you engaged your grandparents in a conversation regarding the Black Lives Matter movement. Were you able to clearly communicate your perspective? What did you take away from the discussion? Perhaps you learned that one of your friends was a passive supporter of an organization that you vehemently disagree with. How did you broach the subject and what was the outcome of your conversation? You don’t need to have changed someone’s mind (or your own!) to impress admissions here. You just need to show that you’re not afraid to stand up for issues you care about and engage with those who may have different opinions than you. College will present you with a plethora of opportunities to meet and interact with people who are very different from you, so show Yale that you’re game to learn, listen, share, and grow.

Reflect on a time when you have worked to enhance a community to which you feel connected. Why have these efforts been meaningful to you? You may define community however you like.

When have you contributed to a community that is important to you and why? For some applicants, the answer might be obvious: you are one of the few English speakers in your community and you share your textbooks and homework with elders, so that they can learn too. But whether this prompt seems like it was made for you or is a total head-scratcher, we encourage you to dig a little deeper than your first thought. What about your history, experiences, perspectives, or talents might be worth highlighting for an admissions officer? And how can the experience, perspective, or talent you choose enrich the college community at Yale? Maybe you have always been an organizer and you are the glue that holds your summer camp community together during the school year. How did it feel when you all reconvened over winter break? Maybe you were raised on a farm and developed a strong work ethic at a young age as you helped your parents tend to the fields. What’s it like to know you’re helping to provide a community with nutritious food options? Be sure to connect your personal story to a future vision of yourself at Yale.

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Common App Essay Prompt Guide

Supplemental Essay Prompt Guide

50 Sample Admissions Essays: Yale College

Never alone - Yale - Sample common application essay

Hometown : Huntington Beach, CA

Year : First-Year

College : Benjamin Franklin

Major : Political Science

Extracurriculars : Yale Precision Marching Band

Sample common application essay

Spencer Hagaman applied to twenty-three colleges, but says that he is glad he ended up at Yale. Born and raised in Huntington Beach, California, he graduated from a public high school of about sixteen hundred students, where he was an International Baccalaureate student, varsity tennis captain, and student council vice president.

Despite boasting a long resume, Spencer decided to focus his Common App essay on a story completely separate from his formal list of activities. He says he wanted to demonstrate to the admissions officers that he was more than just his extracurriculars and test scores—rather, he wanted to convey his spirit. Thus, he settled on a more personal story of how he became the “guy with the flag” at his high school football games—he would sit in the front of the student section, rallying the fans and cheerleaders to root for his school’s team.

Today, Spencer lives in Benjamin Franklin College and is majoring in political science. Although he has not played an instrument before, he joined the Yale Precision Marching Band at the suggestion of his first-year counselor. He started with a cowbell and is now learning to play the bass drum. Spencer is also interested in how music affects political attitudes and is pursuing independent research on the topic.

Out of the twenty-three schools on his list, Spencer says he is sure that Yale is the best fit for him. He emphasizes how amazing the students and professors at Yale are and how much he loves to learn from his peers.

“I have friends who are accomplished composers. I have friends who’ve worked on political campaigns. Musicians, artists, athletes,” he says, explaining that the university boasts a true “diversity of ideals and interests.”

Spencer’s essays include his Common App personal statement.

ESSAY 1 (COMMON APP):

Personal statement.

During the school day, I am an IB full diploma candidate, ASB Vice President, and the Vice Chair of the School Site Council, but at football games, I am the guy on the field in the front of the student section, rallying our fans and cheerleaders to root on our football team.

Despite my leadership roles, there are many people on campus who simply know me and refer to me as “the guy who runs with the flag.” Some of those people tell me their favorite part of the games is simply to watch me sprint up and down the field multiple times and wonder how I do not fall down out of exhaustion.

Sometimes, I wonder, too, how I stay on my feet during those games. Running on four hours of sleep, and after an eight hour school day full of tests and deadlines, a Student Council Leadership meeting, and two hours of tennis conditioning and training, I am exhausted by the start of the football game. Still, I sprint forty yards in front of the fan section with a thirty-five square foot flag acting as a drag parachute and slowing me down. By the end of the third quarter, I have run a combined two miles and am ready to drop to my knees from exhaustion. Yet, I have another quarter left to run and know that I cannot quit now because the game still is not over.

My parents raised me never to quit. If one starts a task, one must finish that task, and if one faces an obstacle along the road, one must overcome it before finishing the task. However, that is not why I keep running. When I am running with the flag, I feel liberated. The mascot stitched into the flag is a mighty Seahawk, and as I imagine myself as that Seahawk, driven by passion and fire, I fly past the fan section. I don’t listen to the pain in my knees or the panting coming from deep in my chest. I listen to the passion in my heart and in the fan section as we cheer our team onto victory.

I am not alone down on the field though. I have my trusty steed with me, my flag. Seven feet tall, with a fierce Seahawk stitched in cardinal and white thread on a golden background, my flag flies proudly in the wind as I run. Everyone knows not to touch the flag. I am the one who retrieves it before the game, I am the one who runs with it, and I am the one who puts it away after the game. What that flag represents is not Friday victories nor defeats but the passion and drive I carry with me every single day of my life.

That flag is going to be hanging in my dorm next fall, retired and resting from years of service. Hopefully, I will be fortunate enough to have the opportunity to bring that same drive and passion I bring every day to Ocean View High School to whichever college I attend next fall.

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From 50 Yale Admission Success Stories: And the Essay That Made Them Happen , edited by the Yale Daily News Staff. Copyright © 2020 by the authors and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Publishing Group.

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6 Awesome Yale University Essay Examples

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Early decision and early action deadlines are about a week away. You can still get a professional review of your college essays in time for early deadlines on CollegeVine.

Yale is one of the top universities in the country, and a member of the prestigious Ivy League. Earning a spot at this highly coveted university is no easy feat, but having strong essays is one step in the right direction.

In this post, we will share six essays real students have submitted to Yale. We will also be covering what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement. Hopefully, you will have a better idea of how to write your Yale essays after reading through these!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.

Essay 1: Immigration Reform

Prompt: Yale students, faculty, and alumni engage issues of local, national, and international importance. Discuss an issue that is significant to you and how your college experience could help you address it. (250 words)

A chaotic sense of sickness and filth unfolds in an overcrowded border station in McAllen, Texas. Through soundproof windows, migrants motion that they have not showered in weeks and children wear clothes caked in mucus and tears. The humanitarian crisis at the southern border exists not only in photographs published by mainstream media, but miles from my home in South Texas.

As a daughter of immigrants, I have heard countless stories of migrants being turned away by a country they desperately seek to love. After seeing the abhorrent conditions migrants face upon arriving in the U.S., I began volunteering with Loaves and Fishes, an organization that shelters and provides necessities to undocumented immigrants. This year, my experiences collecting donations and working at pop-up soup kitchens have made me realize that the communities in South Texas promote true American values of freedom and opportunity. The U.S. government, however, must do better.

During my university career, I aspire to learn how our immigration system can be positively reformed by considering the politics and economics that shape policy-making. Particularly, classes such as Institutional Design and Institutional Change will prepare me to effect change in existing institutions by analyzing various methods to bolster the economy.

Additionally, I hope to join the Yale Refugee Project that volunteers at the southern border and prepares asylum cases for court. With the numerous opportunities offered by YRP, I will be part of a generation of activists and lawmakers that builds a more empathetic immigration system.

What the Essay Did Well

This essay draws its strength from its roots in the applicant’s personal experience and its connections to Yale-specific opportunities. Here, we learn a bit about the applicant’s story, values, and fit for Yale, all well-encapsulated within the 250-count word limit.

The essay starts off with a fantastic imagery-rich anecdote, a strong way to draw your reader in. The student quickly establishes not only the problem’s dire extent but also a personal connection; this issue resides in her own backyard. Here, she establishes that immigrant mistreatment is more than a faraway crisis to her, offering crucial background behind her passion for it.

Her attitude towards getting things done is evident through her concise writing. She succinctly describes the steps she has taken like “ volunteering with Loaves and Fishes ” and “ collecting donations and working at pop-up soup kitchens. ” She then goes on to plainly explain the classes and organization at Yale that closely align with her goals, making it quite easy to imagine the role she would play on campus. Being concise and intentional with your ideas maintains the reader’s interest as they grow to trust that each sentence will carry interesting content that differs from that within the sentence before it.

This essay is wise in that it honed in on very specific opportunities at Yale that align perfectly with the student’s passions. Notice how YRP’s mission mirrors that of Loaves and Fishes in their shared goal to better southern immigrant communities. YRM’s opportunities for helping immigrants through the world of law offer an almost “grown-up” version of the work this student has already completed; here, she shows a willingness to build upon her experience and to push herself even further.

What Could Be Improved

If there is one area of this essay that could be strengthened, it is the conclusion. As the word count is tight, this student doesn’t have space for an entire paragraph, so at the moment she used this sentence: “ With the numerous opportunities offered by YRP, I will be part of a generation of activists and lawmakers that builds a more empathetic immigration system. ”

This sentence is more a conclusion for her discussion about the Yale Refugee Project, although alluding to a “generation of activists and lawmakers” and building a “more empathetic immigration system” suggests a forward-looking conclusion statement. That being said, it could be made stronger by separating the conclusion from the Yale Refugee Project and possibly tying back to previous ideas like the situation at the border or her call for the government to improve.

Essay 2: Artificial Intelligence

Prompt: Think about an idea or topic that has been intellectually exciting for you. Why are you drawn to it? (250 words)

Her name is Sophia. Described by many as compassionate, sexy, and a witty twitter icon, Sophia embodies success and holds a level of intelligence humans can only dream of. Sophia is not your average girl. In fact, she’s not a girl at all. Created in an artificial intelligence lab in Hong Kong, Sophia is the most famous android in the world.

When I first read about Sophia the Robot and its apparent ability to feel emotions, I was intrigued yet perplexed. For years, A.I. has revolutionized technology, enabling tasks to be performed rapidly and skillfully. But the single characteristic I long believed separated humans and A.I. was humans’ ability to express emotions. Today, with emotional A.I. undergoing expeditious development, I find myself wondering what actually makes us human. Can only humans have a mind with consciousness and thought? Will machines be able to imitate the human mind or can they perceive emotions only through algorithms? How do humans learn to feel emotions? What is the mind?

As a philosophy enthusiast, I am fascinated by the potential for A.I. to recreate the human mind. From Descartes postulating that the mind is identified by a self-awareness to early monists arguing that the mind is a purely physical construct, philosophical theories seek to understand the mysterious minds of humans that science cannot fully explain. In college, I hope to study the Philosophy of Mind and Artificial Intelligence in order to better understand our minds and the technology that is increasingly resembling them.

This is an amazing essay because not only do we see this student’s fascination with AI, but we see the effect it has had on their outlook on the world. By the end of the essay we are left wondering “what is the topic that intellectually excites this student?” Is it AI or the philosophy of the mind? Seamlessly intertwining these two topics is quite impressive.

So how did this student convince us of their fascination for two ideas? They showed us. Although they tell us “ I was intrigue d” about AI, we see their interest in their discussion of Sophia. Describing Sophia as “ compassionate, sexy, and a witty twitter icon ” makes the AI appear on a pedestal. Using cliche phrases like “ Sophia is not your average girl ” emulates a discussion you would have about a real person you are in love with, which becomes all the more humorous when we are told right after Sophia isn’t human.

While this student employs descriptive writing, humorous cliches, and subverted expectations to demonstrate their fascination with AI, we see their interest in philosophy through the use of rhetorical questions. Similarly with the topic of AI, the student plainly states their interest in philosophy by referring to themself as a “ philosophy enthusiast. ” But we see that enthusiasm jump off the page when they ask four consecutive philosophical questions. Bringing the reader into their head is such an effective way to convey your inner-most thoughts without losing the reader’s attention. We are a part of this inquiry and suddenly become just as curious to the answers as the student is.

Through these varied writing techniques—another way to keep your essay interesting—both of this student’s fascinations are well-represented. The last line brings everything together in a neat package, explaining how they can explore both topics as one in college.

There is honestly very little this essay needs to improve upon, but one suggestion would be to include Sophia in the latter half of the essay. Since Sophia epitomizes the fusion of AI and the human mind, this is such a perfect symbol for this student. Adding a rhetorical question about Sophia (ie “ Does anything separate me from Sophia? “) or referencing their hope to understand Sophia’s role in humanity after a Yale education in the conclusion would be easy ways to keep the idea sustained throughout the essay.

Essay 3: Shaping Education Systems

Each time we handed homework back, our primary school students would anxiously start counting and comparing the number of corrections. The warning that “ a mistake on the Gaokao will cost you thousands of places to your dream university! ” had already been drilled into their heads.

The combined efforts of generous government spending and unreserved sacrifices of parents have guaranteed education for most Chinese children. After two summers of teaching English in rural Chinese schools, I’ve realised that the problem isn’t funding, but a redundant system.

My friend and I founded Project Take Flight to propose learning driven by curiosity rather than pressure, earned by exploring rather than memorising. After two weeks with quirky essay prompts, vocab games, improvised debates and a lesson titled ”How to Fail”, students’ creativity flowed and the stigma of making mistakes seemed forgotten.

But there’s a limit to the impact of two high-school students; education systems around the world need nation-wide policies that do not just provide the resources but also ensure they are used effectively. Putting students in school might equip us with the skills necessary in the “world of tomorrow”, but education at its best – the type I hope to experience at Yale – enables us to have a say in what that world will look like. I want to understand the processes of curricula development and policymaking through taking courses in Educational Studies alongside my major so I can contribute to shaping an education system where every student can learn for causes greater than themselves.

The prompt asks for an issue that is significant to you, and this student certainly did that! Although education reform is a fairly general topic on its own, the focus is on the work this student has done through the club they founded and the problems they have observed because of their hands-on experience. This is a good example of making a broad idea personal and therefore successful.

The student is able to show the difference between the traditional education system and the innovative approach they implemented with concrete examples. The mantra they include about every mistake affecting your chances of college echoes the sentiments of stressed high school students, but the fact it has been adopted by kids in primary school is this student’s way of demonstrating how broken the system is. They contrast the old with the new by showing how they made learning fun and stress-free with “ q uirky essay prompts, vocab games, improvised debates and a lesson titled ‘How to Fail’ .”

Although this essay hints at how this student wants to reform the education system, we are largely provided with very little about their actual plans. We have seen their ingenuity at starting Project Take Flight in high school, but we want to know how they will expand on their passion with a Yale education.

Rather than telling us “ I want to understand the processes of curricula development and policymaking through taking courses in Educational Studies, ” this student should have 1) included more resources at Yale and 2) described their idea to improve the education system. Admissions officers know you are young and can’t accomplish much yet, but they also know you have dreams—tell us about them!

Something like this would have accomplished both point more effectively: “ I want Project Take Flight to spread its wings and touch students all over the globe. Through the course Money in American Politics I will learn the tools needed to lobby Congress to adopt a student-focused curriculum. Working under Professor Nancy Close, I will acquire an expertise in child psychology to reform my proposed curriculum to best suit the needs of children from the New York city public schools to the rural villages of China that started it all.”

Essay 4: Biomechanics

Prompt: Yale’s extensive course offerings and vibrant conversations beyond the classroom encourage students to follow their developing intellectual interests wherever they lead. Tell us about your engagement with a topic or idea that excites you. Why are you drawn to it? (250 words)

My heel strikes the pavement, calf muscles flexed to brace for the mechanical load of the impact. As my weight shifts forward, I imagine horizontal velocity vectors extending directly ahead. The angle created by my knee increases as I hit the propulsion phase of my stride, and with a final drive of force, I push off from my forefoot.

I discovered my fascination with sports biomechanics in the USC Biomechanics Research Lab. In my research project, I apply scientific principles to running to prevent stress-induced injuries in athletes. By analyzing video frames of PAC-12 athletes in motion and linking them to force plate data, I seek to understand the forces behind running. Comparing these conclusions to the data of athletes after a stress fracture, I can deduce the tangible differences that increase susceptibility to injury. To accomplish this goal, I have learned to use Python and MATLAB to sync the video and force plate data to create graphs for analysis. I have also used sports analysis programs to identify the locations of joints in individual frames and create videos overlaid by force vectors. Through this work, I hope to use my passion for sports biomechanics to improve the health of athletes.

My interest in sports biomechanics also extends outside of the lab, where I see my knowledge in motion. Neighborhood runs are scientific feats where I analyze my movements with principles of physics. With every step, I seek to improve my performance, putting sports biomechanics into action as an athlete.

This is a very detailed essay that is able to convey complex academic ideas in a manner that is easily understood by the reader. Not only that, but the high level of detail also demonstrates the passion this student has for sports biometrics.

Right off the bat, the hook at the beginning brings a high level of energy and excitement to the essay: “ My heel strikes the pavement, calf muscles flexed. ” However, the introduction isn’t just for sheer shock value; they introduce the intellectual aspect of running. Details about “ horizontal velocity vectors ,” the “ angle created by my knee ,” and the “ propulsion phase ” immediately demonstrate the depth of knowledge this student has.

Their intellect only grows in the second paragraph with the multitude of details they use to describe their research project. Breaking down their process step-by-step allows the reader to appreciate all this student has accomplished, even if we know nothing about sports biometrics. We walk away from this essay blown away with this student’s abilities and a clear understanding of their intellectual vitality.

This essay does an excellent job explaining how this student has explored their passion for sports biometrics, but a key detail is missing: why are they passionate about it.

They tell us about how their goal of pursuing sports biometrics is to “ prevent stress-induced injuries in athletes, ” but how did this become this student’s purpose? Maybe this student sustained an injury when they were younger that prevented them from playing for two seasons and made them feel like they had lost a part of themselves. That would have made a great introductory anecdote. Or perhaps organization is a cornerstone of their personality which led them to fall in love with charts and data analysis and sports biometrics allows them to combine the thrill of sports with their detail-oriented side. Whatever the reason is, this essay needed to include details that demonstrate why this student chose sports biometrics.

Essay 5: Why This Major

Prompt: Why do these areas appeal to you? (Biomedical Engineering; Molecular, Cellular, and Developmental Biology; Neuroscience) (125 words)

Tearing past layers of wrapping paper, I blink twice at the box in my hands: The Squishy Human Body. Little did I know that this strange seventh birthday gift would inspire a curiosity in biology and a desire to pursue medicine. Snapping open the plastic head, I would seek to understand the brain’s inner workings. Squeezing the rubber heart would turn into countless questions about the molecular properties of its tissues. Using the tweezers to remove the small intestine, I would perform my own surgeries, each time with improved equipment that I designed to fit the patient’s needs. I hope to continue my exploration of biology at Yale, working to understand functions on a cellular level while applying my knowledge to the field of medicine.

While this essay is short and sweet, it works! Focusing on a singular moment in time, a singular object, allows this student to tell us a lot about their passion for biology and medicine in a very limited amount of space.

The reader is taken on a journey through the human body—via the toy—and at each stop along the way we learn another detail about the student. This is a clever way to convey information, especially when you are tight on words. Using symbols and giving each sentence a specific focus helps the reader quickly take away the main point so we finish the essay feeling like we’ve learned a great deal about what this student wants to learn and do with their degree.

Additionally, this essay is a breezy read because of the use of action verbs keeping the reader in the moment. The repeated structure of beginning sentences with -ing verbs (“Tearing,” “Snapping,” “Squeezing,” “Using,” etc) suggests that these actions are currently taking pace. This is a nice trick to draw your reader in without wasting any space.

This essay could be even better if it told us more about this student in detail. Using the head, heart, and intestine as symbols for what they will learn and do in the future good, but including concrete details would make it great. We could see research projects they conducted, volunteer work at a hospital they engaged in, or clubs that they joined at school to demonstrate their hands-on experience with medicine. The whole point of The Squishy Human Body is to give kids hands-on experience, so let’s see it!

Reworking sentences to be more like these would have made the essay stronger: “ Snapping open the plastic head, I found the brain I performed countless CT scans on to locate tumors. Squeezing the rubber heart, I see my report on addressing high rates of female cardiovascular disease.”

Essay 6: Why Yale

Prompt: What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words or fewer)

Coin collector and swimmer. Hungarian and Romanian. Critical and creative thinker. I was drawn to Yale because they don’t limit one’s mind with “or” but rather embrace unison with “and.”

Wandering through the Beinecke Library, I prepare for my multidisciplinary Energy Studies capstone about the correlation between hedonism and climate change, making it my goal to find implications in environmental sociology. Under the tutelage of Assistant Professor Arielle Baskin-Sommers, I explore the emotional deficits of depression, utilizing neuroimaging to scrutinize my favorite branch of psychology: human perception. At Walden Peer Counseling, I integrate my peer support and active listening skills to foster an empathetic environment for the Yale community. Combining my interests in psychological and environmental studies is why I’m proud to be a Bulldog.

A strength of this essay is how it acts like this student is actively a student at Yale, subconsciously tricking the reader into thinking that they belong. While many students in a “ Why School? ” essay say things like “ I want to ” or “ I would “, being quite literal in the sense they are viewing attending Yale as a future possibility. However, this student employs present verbs and specific locations to make Yale a current reality, for example: “ Wandering through the Beinecke Library, I prepare for my multidisciplinary Energy Studies capstone. ” While this approach requires more confidence, it can help you stand out from other applicants who approach Yale as a hypothetical.

Another positive aspect is how this student explains what Yale resource they are taking advantage of and how they will benefit from/contribute to it. Incorporating both of these is what gives your “Why School?” essay meaning. Admissions officers need to see you have done your research and found opportuniites that relate to you, but they also want to see what you will do on campus and beyond. This student applies this method of description to a class, professor, and organization to thoroughly demonstrate how Yale uniquely aligns with their goals.

One issue with this essay is it tries to cover too much, ultimately leaving many things unsaid. Take the introduction for example. While the notion of embracing “and” not “or” is a good way to demonstrate all the possibilities they can pursue at Yale, this student shares details about themselves that pique the reader’s interest, but unfortunately aren’t expanded on. We want to know about their coin collection and their Hungarian and Romanian roots, but they are never referenced again.

Although the Yale opportunities are slightly more focused around the idea of the environment and psychology, the essay lacks a clear link between the two topics until the last sentence. This makes the essay feel disjointed and overwhelming for the reader because we can’t process how all of this information relates.

To overcome this issue, the student could present the idea of the environment and psychology as their end at the very beginning, cutting out the other identities they present. Not only would this make the entire essay more streamlined, it would make the second paragraph far more manageable because the reader would go into knowing this student’s two interests. Yes, some interesting facts would need to be sacrificed, but when you only have 125 words you need to prioritize the main idea of your essay.

Where to Get Your Yale Essays Edited

Do you want feedback on your Yale essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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